CNN’s Headline News To Rebrand As A Social Media News Network

Monday, February 10 by
I hope they cut into regular programming with this story.  

In an effort to stay above water for just a few more minutes, CNN has announced that Headline News, the station with all the crawlers, and the weather, and headlines, and the ads superimposed on people’s foreheads (I made that last one up), is getting an image and content makeover.

…to become the “social media” news network. Ugh.

As if the channel wasn’t spastic and unfocused enough, CNN now boasts that the rebrand will “redefine TV news and information, driven by what’s trending, being shared and going viral across all screens.”

Good, because you know who should dictate news coverage? My aunt and my former soccer coach on Facebook. But the stupid adult techno-gibberish doesn’t stop there. The network will also feature stories “ripped from the most ‘plugged-in’ sites and blogs.”

Ripped? Plugged-in? BLOGS? These guys are finally speaking to me! This is extreme enough for my generation to embrace. PLAY ME OFF, KEYBOARD CAT!!!

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