When you make a living by skewering pop culture with brutal honesty, it's only natural that you open yourself up to attacks. Not only from Joan Rivers, but all manner of beast. Chelsea Handler was attacked by a sea lion while recently paddle boarding and had a chunk bitten out of her leg. She revealed her bandages on a recent episode of Chelsea Lately, and went on to explain how she survived this harrowing ordeal.
"I just remember from being on safari the guy was like, 'Just make loud noises.' So I'm in the water with one arm in the paddle board and I [made noises] and it worked! It really worked."

So there you have it. Loud noises. For future reference, you can also make things go away by showing them episodes of Are You There, Chelsea? (US Weekly)