Charlie Sheen Expected To Serve Jail Time

Tuesday, June 1 by

"So then I sez to her, I can pay to have you killed."

People is reporting that Charlie Sheen will serve a minimum of fifteen days in jail for chasing his wife with a knife on Christmas Eve and threatening to kill her. That hardly seems fair. IT WAS CHRISTMAS. The most stressful time of year. Who here hasn’t wanted/tried to kill their girlfriend/wife/sorority-girls-who-now-inhabit-your-childhood-home during the Christmas season? If you don’t raise your hand, you’re a liar.

But don’t worry. Charlie’s time in the pokey won’t prevent him from earning a multi-million dollar paycheck for spouting off lame sexual euphemisms before canned gasps, chuckles, and wolf whistles. The plea deal will allow him to serve his time before "Two and a Half Men’s" shooting schedule reconvenes. Thank God! Not the real God that we all love. One of those sinister evil ones.

 

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