Bruno Mars Announced For Super Bowl Halftime Show, Gwar Waits Until Next Year (Again)

Monday, September 9 by
Seems like a nice enough young man.  

Since bleeding edge, off-the-grid acts like Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson can’t be trusted with the responsibility any more, the Super Bowl has gone way, way back to the likes of the Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, and Paul McCartney.

Realizing that most of the fans of those bands are now dead or in hospice care without access to televisions, the producers have gone with Bruno Mars, a diminutive little fella who sings about things like fedoras and having curly hair. He’s a pretty safe choice, though he might mention Twitter or Toyota Prii, alienating older viewers.

The Super Bowl this season will take place in East Rutherford, New Jersey, so it’s like that Mr. Mars will have to wear a fur coat to stay warm. But such is the price paid for art.

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