Bieber Arrested For DUI In Story That Has Nothing To Do With TV Or Movies

Thursday, January 23 by
JUSTIN BIEBER HAS LITTLE BABY HANDS. THAT'S THE REAL STORY HERE.  

Screen Junkies is predominately a comedic website about TV and film. However, there are instances where we get the urge to report other stories that might be really funny, important, or interesting. Sometimes we can tie them into the world of TV or film, but when we can’t, we give in to those urges anyway, and just offer a candid disclaimer that we’re breaking form. Because they are urges. And we are weak.

This is one such instance.

Justin Bieber, who has been publicly making the transformation from “annoying little shit” to “sociopath-in-training” has taken a break from egging his neighbors and sleeping with South American hookers to drive a Lamborghini drunk in Miami. And just like the aforementioned, because he is not a smart person, he got caught.

And he went to jail for DUI.

His buddies had blocked off a residential street so that he could drag race his Lambo late at night. Amazingly, the police showed up when an asshole in a Lamborghini blocks off a residential street late at night so he can race drunk.

When confronted by police, Bieber told them he had been drinking beer all day (not a smart man, see?) and didn’t have a valid license (ibid). He also non-violently resisted arrest and cursed at the police (NOT SMART).

He did the obligatory “smile like an asshole” in your mugshot thing, and is presumably back on the streets, doing whatever it is Justin Bieber does in the cold light of day.

Bieber faces six months in prison, but, come on. He’ll spend two day in rehab, then make headlines by shitting on the bathroom floor at the Grammys or something, and we will all continue to live our lives, much as he will.

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