UPDATED: Ashton Kutcher Joins ‘Two And A Half Men’, Charlie Sheen Screams Into Webcam

Friday, May 13 by
 

UPDATE: CBS has officially announced that Ashton Kutcher will be joining the “Two and a Half Men” family. It’s almost like Charlie Sheen never existed.

Good news: Charlie Sheen has something to talk about again. *Wipes Brow*

CBS and Warner Bros are in the final stages of their deal to replace Sheen’s character on “Two and a Half Men” with… Ashton Kutcher. This makes some logical sense, as they’re both on-screen douches and Kutcher is experienced in the multicamera sitcom world. My sources tell me he will also build a Scrooge McDuck style swimming vault for all the money they’re giving him.

Hugh Grant passed on the gig, and despite publicly saying he’s not interested, John Stamos has been waiting by the phone this entire time. Showrunner Chuck Lorre is supposedly happy with the selection, and now Sheen will have someone else to call a “troll” for awhile. Let the inevitable Twitter battle begin. (Hollywood Reporter)

COMMENTS

  1. May 13, 2011 9:44 am

    nick price

    The hunt for the new Charlie Sheen is over


  2. May 13, 2011 9:44 am

    Lilou

    what a dumb article, i hope you are not paid for that, it would be a crime.


  3. May 13, 2011 9:44 am

    Tikidoll

    I totally laughed out loud at “as they’re both on-screen douches” and I’m sitting in a restaurant by myself. Hahahahahaha!


  4. May 13, 2011 9:44 am

    Tikidoll

    I totally laughed out loud at “as they’re both on-screen douches” and I’m sitting in a restaurant by myself. Hahahahahaha!


  5. May 13, 2011 9:44 am

    Tikidoll

    I totally laughed out loud at “as they’re both on-screen douches” and I’m sitting in a restaurant by myself. Hahahahahaha!


  6. May 13, 2011 9:44 am

    TinyDickman

    it would be a crime to take you seriously you dumb fucknugget


  7. May 13, 2011 9:44 am

    Anonymous

    No…exposing yourself on a crowded bus is a crime. This is just an article on the internet. Get your facts straight, @a84a2700578ba1bb5c7097c5a2b6efa1:disqus .


  8. May 13, 2011 9:44 am

    Anonymous

    No…exposing yourself on a crowded bus is a crime. This is just an article on the internet. Get your facts straight, @a84a2700578ba1bb5c7097c5a2b6efa1:disqus .


  9. May 13, 2011 9:44 am

    Anonymous

    No…exposing yourself on a crowded bus is a crime. This is just an article on the internet. Get your facts straight, @a84a2700578ba1bb5c7097c5a2b6efa1:disqus .


  10. May 13, 2011 9:44 am

    Anonymous

    No…exposing yourself on a crowded bus is a crime. This is just an article on the internet. Get your facts straight, @a84a2700578ba1bb5c7097c5a2b6efa1:disqus .


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