Lifetime, as eager to upset their role as a television station as they are gender roles, is going to step up their game from fictionalized accounts of domestic violence at the hands of Mario Lopez to telling the story of Christ.

It's going to be an origin story. Was he bitten by a Christian spider? Was the death of his father, Joseph, a catalyst?

Maybe. It will tell the story of Jesus' twenty-somethings, hopefully in a Apatow-like slacker fashion. Since very little is known about Jesus' "lost" half-assing work at his dad's consulting firm so that he could focus on his music, it will be interesting to see what the hell Lifetime does with this subject matter.

No doubt, though, that Tori Spelling and Tiffani Amber Theissen are both reading this, then working on their most affected Mary Magdalene voices.