Causing audiences the world over to wonder how The Hand That Rocks The Cradle fits any twisted definition of the word "family," ABC Family will be getting behind a TV adaptation of the show, which is about a sociopath that tears a family apart through murder and seduction.

On the plus side, this series will give like three meaty roles to some terrific actors that could use the work. I'm thinking Sarah Michelle Gellar, but it could also be a bored Jessica Biel.

How you stretch out the reveal that maybe your nanny isn't so awesome is the big question here, but if Dexter is to be believed, you can simply do this by having all the other characters be really, really stupid.

Problem solved.