15 Oscar Category Additions for 2010

We firmly believe that the Oscars would benefit from adding a few wild-card categories every year. You know, mix it up. Keep it fresh. Here are a few possibilities, including  nominees. If you have more, post them in the comments section. And don’t forget to follow our Oscar liveblog HERE starting 8pm Eastern, 5pm Pacific this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Sunday.

Best Alien Performance

• Neytiri – "Avatar"
• Gallaxhar – "Monsters vs. Aliens"
• Nero – "Star Trek"
• Chrisopher Johnson – "District 9"
• Lil Wayne – "The Carter"

Best Abusive Parent

• Mo’Nique – "Precious"
• Dylan Walsh – "The Stepfather"
• Sheri Moon Zombie – "Halloween II"
• Robin Williams – "World’s Greatest Dad"
• Any Parent Who Took Their Kids To See "Old Dogs"

Best Actress Who Has Made Out With Peter Sarsgaard

• Carrie Mulligan – "An Education"
• Vera Farmiga – "Orphan"
• Maggie Gyllenhaal – "Crazy Heart"

Best Direction By A Total Fox

• Kathryn Bigelow – "The Hurt Locker"
• Kathryn Bigelow – "Point Break"
• Kathryn Bigelow – "Near Dark"
• Kathryn Bigelow – "Strange Days"
• George Clooney – "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind"

Best Film You Don’t Care About

• "Ajami" – Israel
• "The Milk of Sorrow" – Peru
• "A Prophet" – France
• "The Secret in Their Eyes" – Argentina
• "The White Ribbon" – Germany

Best Murdered Elderly Person

• The Comedian – "Watchmen"
• Sheriff Jim Burke – "My Bloody Valentine"
• Eytukan – "Avatar"
• Charles Muntz – "Up"
  

Best Performance By An Australian Playing An America

• Sam Worthington – "Avatar"
• Nicole Kidman – "Nine"
• Russell Crowe – "State of Play"
• Guy Pierce – "The Hurt Locker"
• Eric Bana – "The Time Traveler’s Wife"

Best Performance By George Clooney As Himself

• George Clooney – "Up In The Air"
• George Clooney – "Ocean’s Eleven"
• George Clooney – "Ocean’s Twelve"
• George Clooney – "Ocean’s Thirteen"
• George Clooney – "Out of Sight"

Best Performance By A Pair Of Tig Ol’ Bitties

• Helen Mirren – "The Last Station"
• Kevin James – "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"
• Jamal Woolard – "Notorious"
• Christina Hendricks – "Mad Men" (who gives a sh*t if it’s TV)

Best Direction By A Crazy Person

• James Cameron – "Avatar"
• Quentin Tarantino – "Inglourious Basterds"
• Lee Daniels – "Precious"
• Werner Herzog – "The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans"
• Troy Duffy – "The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day"

Best Heath Ledger Impersonation

• Johnny Depp – "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus"
• Jude Law – "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus"
• Colin Farrell – "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus"
• Spike Jonze – Banging Michelle Williams

Best Shakey Cinematography

• Barry Ackroyd – "The Hurt Locker"
• Oren Peli – "Paranormal Activity"
• Dean Semler – "2012"
• Trent Opalach – "District 9"

Best Use of Lesbianism As A Marketing Ploy

• "Jennifer’s Body"
• "Women in Trouble"
• "Bitch Slap"
• "Sorority Row"
• "Whip It"

Best Performance By A Messed-Up Eye

• Forest Whitaker – "Power Blue"
• Lenny Kravitz – "Precious"
• Mel Jones – "Coraline"

Best Performance By Penélope Cruz In A Film Where We Can’t Understand What She’s Babbling