Things That Will Happen Before ‘Mad Men’ Returns For Season 5

Tuesday, March 29 by

The fifth season of “Mad Men” has been pushed back all the way to early 2012. For fans of the show, that feels like an eternity. After all, the series has already been on hiatus since October, meaning that even if it returns next January, it will have been off the air for 15 months. That’s a long friggen time, and a lot can happen between now and then. Here are some things that will probably go down before the show returns…

  • Steve Carell will no longer be on”The Office.” As such, you will no longer be watching, “The Office.”
  • Major League Baseball will conduct an entire season of play.
  • Tom Crusie will reprise his role as Ethan Hunt in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and Xenu will return to Earth to take his rightful place at the head of the Galactic Confederacy.
  • Harry Potter will be a thing of the past, as all of the films in the series will have been released. Unfortunately, the Twilight series will remain undead.
  • A reboot of the Spider-Man reboot will be in active development.
  • The 2012 Presidential primary season will be underway.
  • Katie Couric will be out at CBS news after nearly five years, while that old bastard Andy Rooney will celebrate is 103rd year with the network.
  • FX will have premiered and canceled no less than five critically acclaimed yet poorly rated shows.
  • Oprah Winfrey will end her show, and the country will be shocked by the simultaneous suicides of two million bored housewives.
  • Christina Hendricks’ breasts will be slightly closer to her knees.
  • The show will be forced to write a storyline in which the character of Bobby gets his first pube.
  • Julian Assange will have leaked the script for the season 5 finale. All your waiting will have been for naught.
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  1. March 29, 2011 4:56 pm


    Funny article, Jame.

  2. March 29, 2011 4:56 pm



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