The ‘True Blood’ Finale Reminds Us How Ridiculous The Show Really Is

Monday, September 12 by
This barely cracked the top five, to give you a sense of what we're dealing with.  

It’s difficult to pare this list down to only five entries. Honestly, a less daunting piece would be a list of things that aren’t ridiculous about True Blood, but I’m not even sure I could find five. Sam the bar owner is probably the least ridiculous thing about the show, and he morphs into a dog and has a long lost-brother. Last night’s season finale didn’t do much to tone the show down, but after four seasons, it’s pretty clear that the True Blood team isn’t in the business of toning shit down. Quite the opposite, rather.

With both types of lists difficult for different reasons, let’s search through the piles of examples that HBO’s sexy-vampire show gives us and try to find the 5 most ridiculous aspects of this shirtless train wreck that many can’t seem to turn away from.

5. The Accents

Considering the show is set in Bon Temps, Louisiana, you would expect some pretty thick Cajun or bayou accents. However, only about 15% of the characters have a southern accent. And the ones that ARE attempted are pretty far from passable. Sookie, played by Oscar winner Anna Paquin has a godawful accent, but she takes her shirt off frequently, so we tend to turn a blind eye.

However, other characters seem to speak as though they are from Omaha. When driving through rural Louisiana, you will come to one realization: nobody speaks like a normal human being. The accents are so thick it’s difficult to discern what is being said. However, the True Blood cast speaks as though they are delivering a commencement address at Vasser. Yes. Vasser.

Granted, it would be more difficult to endear the audience to a group of sexy townsfolk who all speak like they have mouths full of marbles, but the path the producers and actors took make it almost as difficult to suspend disbelief.

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