Tonight marks the premiere of the new CBS sitcom ¡Rob!, starring Rob Schneider as a white man who has married into a Mexican-American family, and must now deal with a series of hi-larious cultural differences. While this premise is perfectly believable, the notion that a woman as smoking hot as Claudia Bassols would marry a shlub like Rob Schneider is much harder to swallow. You can't blame Schneider for abiding by tradition, however, and it is a long held T.V. sitcom tradition that a beautiful wife must be married to a man no less then 5 points below her on the hotness scale. But in all fairness, some of these mismatched couples were the centerpiece of sitcom classics, so perhaps ¡Rob! will be just as terrific! Well, no... probably not.

Check out the ¡Rob! Bingo card.

The King of Queens

The best and most recent example of this phenomenon occurred on the hit CBS series The King of Queens. The notion that gigantic delivery man Doug Heffernan could score cute, busty Carrie was pushing fiction to the extreme. However, Doug was funny and charming, and as the writers at Screen Junkies all know, cute women prize a sense of humor over good looks any day of the week. Of course, Doug also put up with Carrie's insane father Arthur, so that scored him some points.


It's become fashionable over the years to bash Friends as overrated. The truth, however, is that the middle years of the show hold up quite well, both in writing and acting. But not even ten Oscar winners could convince me that Rachel Green was so hung up on giant dork Ross Gellar. Even if you do buy into the notion of one of the hottest women in America getting knocked up by a palaeontologist, I submit exhibit B: Monica and Chandler. This show was bordering on Sci-Fi.

The Honeymooners

The Rosetta Stone of mismatched sitcom couples, bus driver Ralph Kramden somehow convinced his pretty wife Alice to stay with him, despite his many failed get-rich schemes and the constant threat of physical abuse. Alice may not be as "hot" as some of the lovely ladies on this list, but in the 50's she qualified as a real dish. And if you don't agree- GET BENT.


Not only was Samantha Stephens drop dead gorgeous, she also had magic powers, which essentially makes her a superhero. Regardless, she chooses to marry and raise a family with not one but two dorky Darrins! Darrin was a nice guy, however, and he put up with Samantha's wretched mother, Endora. The in-law clause seems to save a lot of the guys on this list.

The Munsters

Granted, Lily Munster is a bit more... odd looking... than the other women listed, but she's still striking, and she has a bit of the goth thing going on, decades ahead of its time. But by any standards, Herman was way too goofy to score a chick like Lily. Then again, he had gigantic feet, so maybe that's a clue as to why Lily was always so pale and shaky.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

The Fresh Prince's beloved Aunt Viv and Uncle Phil were no doubt great mentors to young Will. And, based on clues throughout the series, they banged like rabbits whenever they got the chance, which was baffling, since Phil was as big as a house and constantly grumpy, while Vivian was a classy, attractive woman despite churning out three kids, even if one of them was Carlton.

Green Acres

Most of my Green Acres experience comes from watching Nick at Night as a young man, and even at age nine, I didn't buy into Euro hottie Lisa going for dopey old Oliver Douglass. Of course he was a successful attorney, which makes sense, but why does she stick with him when he drops it all to become a farmer? Maybe her love of free bacon trumped her desire for the good life? I'm guessing its that. Bacon conquerors all.

Modern Family

Modern Family is a consistently funny show, but its becoming increasingly harder to swallow the notion of smart, sexy Claire Dunphry putting up with her well meaning but goofy husband Phil. Still, he appears to be a good father, so maybe that wins her over. Some might find the oddest couple on Modern Family to be Jay Pritchett and his hot Latino firecracker wife Gloria, but if I go down that road it might be perceived as bashing Ed O'Neil. And it'll be a cold, cold day in hell before I bash Ed O'Neil.

Curb Your Enthusiasm

For ten years, Larry David, as depicted on Curb Your Enthusiasm, has been whiny, neurotic, and caused more havoc than a small army. When his cute wife Cheryl finally walked out on him a couple of seasons back, it was less shocking that it happened but that it took so long. Still, the character is depicted as having millions upon millions in Seinfeld money lying around, so the notion of him scoring another hot young wife isn't so out of the ball park.

Family Guy

From The Flintstones to The Simpsons, TV animation is rife with unlikely pairings, but none more so than Peter and Lois Griffin on Family Guy. Aside from the fact that Peter appears to out weigh his wife by about 300 pounds, he also has disgusting personal habits and is constantly causing massive trouble for her and the rest of the family. Still, Lois stays loyal, although she may have some self-esteem issues, since the the only other character crushing on her is Brian the dog. Interesting note-  while searching for a picture for this entry, I came upon an astonishing amount of Lois Griffin-based erotic fan art. Just a heads up!

The Life of Jason Sudeikis

In the course of my research for this list, I learned that there was in fact no sitcom entitled The Life of Jason Sudeikis. I was shocked, since the photos I've seen of him dating beauties like Olivia Wilde and January Jones seem to indicate a T.V. fiction level of comical mismatching. There are even rumors that he once bagged Eva Mendes. Is it possible that a goofy looking funny guy can score a smoking hot chick outside of a scripted CBS half hour? No. More likely, Sudeikis has invented some sort of mind control device, which he'd be wise to share with nerds across America, post-haste. STOP HOLDING OUT, SUDEIKIS.

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