Screw It, We’re Grading 27 Super Bowl XLVI Ads Early

Friday, February 3 by
Hope you like commercials.  

These days, it seems pretty unnecessary to wait until after the Super Bowl to grade the ads. They’re released days ahead of time online, so that rubes like me may craft entire articles that incidentally help these companies peddle their wares.

That said, I like being first, so I’m going to grade the Super Bowl ads now. Sure, we’ve only got 27 ads so far, but my guess is that every decent ad has been leaked, so if you haven’t put your ad online by now, tough shit, anonymous company. You should know better in the Internet age.

These ads are graded based on my own hunch, gut, and whatever erratic mood swing I happen to be enduring or enjoying at the time I view it.

Note: We culled the movie trailers from this list because they largely weren’t Super Bowl-specific. 

Another Note: Thanks to EW Popwatch for assembling most of this big list of videos. 

E*Trade – The E*Trade Baby

The E*Trade baby is back at it, this time inexplicably as some dude’s best man. He’s bringing the sass, as he so often does, and though the schtick still isn’t fresh, it’s still a cute enough commercial, and at thirty seconds, it doesn’t run long enough to get old.

Grade: B – A Bunch of Monkeys

It wouldn’t be a Super Bowl if there weren’t thinly-premised ads sporting tons of animals doing human things. This year, Career Builder seems to have bitten that particular bullet, offering up a dude on a business trip with monkeys! Honest-to-goodness, no-foolin’ monkeys!

It’s not very funny. Except for the part where they plant a dildo in his bag in the TSA line. That’s pretty damn funny.

Grade: C- – Will Arnett

Hulu has always been able to get some decent stars for their ads, and whie Will Arnett may not be the biggest name in Hollywood, he’s among the funniest. And the fact that he’s spitting off TV catchphrases to try to open a door just does it for me. Honestly, though. I could watch Will Arnett quietly drink a smoothie at a bus stop and think it’s a great commercial.

Grade: B-

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