Sally Draper And 6 Other TV Kids I Don’t Want To Smack

Thursday, October 20 by

Glen – Mad Men

In tandem with Sally (above, stop skipping around my articles and you’d know that), Glen demonstrates how troubled even the innocent can be. Further, Glen is pretty much the only character on the show that actually stands up for another person. He regularly eats shit due to his presumably innocent desire to be with Sally. They are kindred spirits, but Betty’s warped sense of the world keeps them apart. As Glen loses Sally to a move to a nearby city, fans of the show hold out hope that the two can reunite, and frequently, as Glen and Sally present a refreshin break from the whiskey and cigarette-laden world of every other character on the show.

If someone told me that the end of Mad Men would result in a Glen and Sally spinoff for their college years, I would be genuinely excited for the next three years.

Oh, screw it: Glen Bishop for president!

Lisa – The Simpsons

When a show runs for a quarter-century the way The Simpsons has, the characters will become robust and fleshed out regardless of the quality of the writing staff, so the excellent staff from The Simpsons, coupled with the sheer amount of time we’ve spent with these characters, gives us no shortage of compelling kids to choose from.

However, while Bart emerged in early seasons as a crude party-guy (Cowabunga, man!), Lisa maintained a pretty fun dichotomy as both an intelligent voice of reason on the show, and as a dumb, fun kid. And nothing is better on that show than watching those two factions wage war, such as in “Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield” when she is constantly interrupted during spiel about the elitist nature of country clubs by galloping horses until she finally can’t take it anymore and runs after the horse.

Over time, Bart has developed more facets, but Lisa was robust from the beginning, being perhaps the only voice of reason on the show (aside from Superintendent Chalmers) that reminds us how dumb and funny this community can be.

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