All of my experience with the legal system comes from repeated viewings of Pauly Shore's Jury Duty, so I probably wouldn't be the best one to choose a lawyer. For instance, have a look at these commercials for local law firms. They run the gamut of terrible to so terrible that they're amazing. Each has its own unique charm, and watching all of them is highly encouraged. They're much better than Jury Duty.

Rock n' Roll Attorney David Komie

The dreadlocked man you see shredding the guitar in the video above is Rock n' Roll Attorney David Komie, the attorney that rocks. I can't really speak to his credentials when it comes to personal injury cases or his aggressiveness toward mesothelioma, but I can tell you that he knows a few chords and wears eyeliner. Not only does he offer free consultations but he can also help you score.

Leandros A. Vrionedes, PC

When you're selecting the person most appropriate to represent you in a court of law you want someone proper and dignified. You also want their commercial to look like a really low budget Final Destination movie with narration by Michael Caine. That's why you should choose New York's Leandros A. Vrionedes, PC. He can make sense of it all.

Brown & Crouppen

"These aren't actors. These are real Brown & Crouppen lawyers." Thanks but I didn't need that disclaimer at the top. And that's not exactly a diss against this ad from the Missouri-based law firm. With dialogue and direction on par with CSI, it think it makes it all the more awesome that the ad is acted by the firm's actual lawyers.

Here they are at it again. So dramatic. If these guys had their own procedural I would watch it so hard. Adult Swim and FX, I'm looking in your direction.

Todd L. Levitt, PC

Holy god in heaven. The actors at the top of this clip look exactly like the supporting characters from Beavis and Butthead. I'll prove it.

And if you were thinking Florida, you're way off. Long Island, New York. A player has entered the game.

Lowell "The Hammer" Stanley

Many lawyers claim to be "The Hammer," but Lowell "The Hammer" Stanley really seems like he can back it up. Insurance companies know him well because he is the hammer, and they are the nails. He hammers them nearly everyday and he'll hammer for you if you just call him.

It was this or a career in porn.

Jim Adler & Associates

Jim Adler is another attorney who claims to have harnessed the power of the hammer. However, his is more localized. The Texas Hammer sounds like the western spin-off to Lowell "The Hammer" Stanley, if they were both comic book titles. However, he is not a comic book. He is a guy... a guy whose customers really endorse him. As one young woman testifies, "In a dog fight, the Hammer doesn't just growl or bark, HE BITES BACK!!" Extra points for making this ad look like a DMX video.

Pistotnick Law Offices

And then there are those who actually use a hammer.

Ever want to see a middle-aged lawyer (and probably someone's dad) use a giant hammer to bash in the head of a cartoon gremlin? Well, what are you waiting for? The above video has exactly that.

Savannah GA Bankruptcy Lawyers

Nothing to see here. Just your run-of-the-mill commercial using uplifting music and stock images. Until... this guy.

How in the world did this make it onto film, let alone into a commercial? It's startlingly jarring. Joss Whedon fans may notice a certain resemblance.

Kelly Law Firm - Internet Lawyer

The Internet can be a scary wasteland fraught with pitfalls and secret traps. If you're looking to start an e-Business, you don't want a business manager who really knows and understands the landscape. And preferably is cool and doesn't wear a suit. That's where Aaron Kelly: Internet Lawyer comes into play. I heard he got a huge settlement for Afro Ninja for injuries sustained while doing a nunchuck backflip.

Alcock & Associates

Being accused of a crime can really harsh your mellow. Last thing you want is some Mr. Lawyer Guy coming in and acting like your dad. What you need is an incredibly chill lawyer who has been in a courtroom before. Call Alcock & Associates. Or don't. No pressure, cause that's cool too.

Jamie Balagia - The DWI Dude

You've seen the rest. Now see the best. Jamie Balagia aka "The Dude" aka "DWI Dude" is the only lawyer epic enough to be powered by fire, sparks, and supernovas. This is unconfirmed, but this commercial just might have been directed by Michael Bay. If not, definitely by someone who owns all of his Blu-rays.

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