Nobody is Safe in these Daniel Tosh Quotes

Friday, September 9 by Rose Kerr

Daniel Tosh quotes from his stand up comedy contain the sarcasm and humour that has made him so famous.  The host of the popular comedy serie Tosh.0 has some hilarious commentary on online video clips, society, celebrities, and other parts of popular culture

“Thank you, San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.”  This Daniel Tosh quote has a common theme of all his jokes in mentioning his parents.  He often criticizes people in comparing how parent’s would judge them now.

“The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?” This is a typical example of a Daniel Tosh quote to reflect contemporary culture.  If the National Anthem was so good, why didn’t anyone have it on their iPods?   As ridiculous as they may be, Daniel Tosh quotes are always filled with interesting observations.

“I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.”  This classic Tosh quote once again shows that no one is spared. There seems to be a streak of contempt and truth in all that he says.

Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.” In this quote, Daniel Tosh helps defines men on behalf of women everywhere.  He broadly defines men who don’t understand women into the categories of married and unmarried men, which means everyone.  Some people might say that this is universally true.

“My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had… so he sent me to a girl’s school.”  Another sarcastic Daniel Tosh quote on his relationship with his family.  Tosh quips that his father never has the opportunities in a girl’s school so he was sent there.  Perhaps this quote has gay undertones in regards to rumors of him being gay.

“Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.”  This is probably a very correct observation by Daniel Tosh. This observation probably enforces the simple needs of men.

“The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.”  Maybe Daniel Tosh is pointing out the frailties on the human emphasis on the status of celebrities.  This observation is probably true for most people.

“In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.” This Daniel Tosh quote is a scathing observation on the quality of television programming in America.  His analogy of current TV programming with garbage refers to the lack of quality content.  This is because producers compromise on this to capture more viewers.

“Until I was thirteen I thought my name was Shutup.”  This is a typical Daniel Tosh quote that shows his ability to poke fun at himself. 

“If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.”  Daniel Tosh makes fun of the statement “No means No” and says that if this is so, mankind cannot exist.  This is another clever observation by this talented comedian on everyday remarks and conventional wisdom.