Sometimes we think they should just rename Law and Order: SVU to Semen in the Chest Cavity. It’s pretty amazing that a creepy show revolving around dead, raped girls wrapped in plastic has lasted this long. With the 13th season of SVU underway, we've been thinking about some of our favorite deliciously creepy episodes. You might want to turn on a night light before reading this one, kids... or buy some mace.

“Unorthodox” (Season 9)

As if Alexander Gould weren’t creepy enough as the budding sociopath Shane Botwin on Weeds, he really outdid himself in his SVU bid. When a kid shows up to school bleeding out the ass, Olivia and Stabler are naturally called in, suspecting yet another religious leader with a penchant for little boys. Nope. What they’ve got is a porn-addicted young boy who’s seen a few too many episodes of Oz. “Sometimes they pretend they don’t like it. It’s just part of the sex.”

“Pure” (Season 6)

Martin Short plays Sebastian Ballentine a creepactular psychic with shockingly accurate details of a kidnapping-murder, the skeptical Stabler unsurprisingly suspects he’s no clairvoyant. As this is SVU, you know from the outset the answer won’t be simple and it’s not. They soon catch the trail of one Henry Palavar. Things take a turn for the downright scary when the pair learn that Henry Palavar and Sebastian Ballentine are one and the same.

“Care” (Season 3)

The video game obsessed are always a little creepy. In this episode of SVU, a man addicted with a medieval video game is the prime suspect after a little girl’s body is found at a construction site. The real culprit is far scarier than any mouth breather you might encounter on World of Warcraft, however. Grandma beat the poor kid to death for wetting the bed. We were pretty glad when she died of a heart attack in prison at the end.

“Rooftop” (Season 3)

A series of rapes just gets more and more violent in New York City’s African-American community. In an example of the false suspect being creepier than the real one, Elliot and Olivia are drawn to an HIV-positive ex-con with a penchant for spreading his bug around. This one will have you lying awake at night.

“Monogamy” (Season 3)

SVU is known for overdoing the whole “RIPPED FROM TODAY’S HEADLINES” thing, but here that’s not the only thing ripped out. A seven-months pregnant woman is found with her child primatively Cesarean sectioned out of her body. Watch John “Jack Tripper” Ritter playing the hard-as-nail perp who breaks when he finds out some unpleasant news about the paternity of the child in question.

“Denial” (Season 3)

Not sure what it is about season three of SVU, but much of the creepiness is concentrated around it. To wit, this heartwarming gem about a heroin addict rape victim. This is exactly the type of case Fin takes a special interest in. And without that avuncular influence, we’d never know the girl was carrying around a 13-year-old disembodied finger. Fewer things give us the willies than a girl with a body part in her purse... except maybe one older than cheap Scotch.

“Home” (Season 5)

Remember the homeschooled kids who couldn’t eat anything? They were pretty creepy, right? Well, they’re back in SVU form. When a young lad is found eating garbage, it leads a trail to an extremely paranoid mother who forbids processed food and most contact with the outside world. After one son shoots another, the DA’s office charges both mother and child. This one ends with a tear-filled reunion and even a little hugging. Doesn’t make it any less creepy, though.

“Screwed” (Season 8 )

A very special SVU, this episode tells the tale of Darius Parker, a plucky young lad who murdered a woman and her 14-month-old child. He puts SVU itself on trial, calling officer after officer to the stand to discredit the prosecution. He gets more than he bargained for, however, when it’s revealed that his father is also his grandfather and his mother is also his sister.

“Confrontation” (Season 8 )

This might actually be every woman’s worst nightmare. You’ve heard of serial rapists. They often gather information about intended targets, sometimes stalking them for months before striking. In this episode we meet a serial rapist who tracks women’s ovulation cycles. It isn’t enough for him to rape women. He wants them carrying around his baby as well. Happy nightmares.