Hobo Sex and Rum Ham: The ‘Always Sunny’ GIF Recap (S7E2)

Friday, September 23 by
I'm still trying to think of a cheese soft enough to grate on those abs.  

It’s a rare occurrence that we see the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia gang out of their element, especially in a geographical sense. We’ve had an aborted cross-country trip, a journey to an Atlantic City casino, but that’s about all the travel the gang has given us in seven years.

Well, this week, they’re off on a bona fide vacation. Albeit one that’s only about an hour and a half from their houses, but we’ll take what we can get. The gang is heading to the Jersey shore. Dennis and Dee wish to relive the days of their childhood, Frank wants to take a trip on which he can finally unwind, Charlie wants to see the ocean for the first time, and Mac…well, Mac doesn’t want to go, but, ever the trooper, joins anyway.

Upon checking in to a fleabag motel, in true Sunny style, the dies are cast. Frank and Mac will be drinking and relaxing, while Dennis, Dee, and Charlie will be channelin the spirit of the Jersey shore of yesteryear.

Mac and Frank

While Mac heads down to the beach to score a place to post up, Frank is on liquor duty. Mac has no problem securing some real estate due to a toxic event (details withheld) and scattered steroid needles.

Frank saunters up with a very, very large ham in tow, sans booze. An irate Dennis demands to know what became of the booze, to which Frank informs Mac it’s soaked in and loaded with rum. Mac’s response demonstrates a quick 180.

“Goddamit, Frank. Eating your booze? That’s genius!”

However, as delicious as that boozy ham might be, it certainly seems to be attracting a healthy share of stray dogs. In a far-sighted move that absolutely no one would expect to backfire, Frank and Mac take to the seas, enjoying their booze ham on a life raft several hundred yards offshore, only to, predictably, pass out and find themselves lost at sea.

After losing the booze ham to ocean, Frank becomes irate and violent, as Frank often does. However, no sooner does he enter “survival mode” than a party boat cruises by, saving the castaways and sparing Mac from a cannibalistic end. Their trip is salved with steroids, binge drinking, and spray tans, as so many vacations are, forcing Mac to make the classy admission that he was wrong about the shore.

Dennis, Dee, and Charlie

Dennis and Dee, eager to revisit the beach of their youth, set out to the beach wit Charlie, only to find it all but abandoned. Charlie is absolutely fascinated by the ocean, but, as usual, Dennis and Dee’s are myopically focused on what Dennis and Dee want. Their stroll along the boardwalk further fuels their disappointment, but they hold out hope knowing that the ace up their sleeve is actually what’s going on UNDER the boardwalk.

It should surprise no one familiar with this show that what is going on under the boardwalk is graphic hobo butt sex. The spectacle is enough to upset even Charlie, who takes his leave of Dee and Dennis.

Still intent on recapturing their youth, Dennis and Dee find their way to a boardwalk ride that ends ripping out a sizable portion of Dee’s scalp. In the emergency room, they catch up with Stephanie, a junkie mom who promises to show them a good time on the shore. Predictably, the good time consists of angel dust, a sociopath named Billy, and a little armed robbery.

Charlie, meanwhile, comes across The Waitress, who ambles along the shore, eager to spend some time with him. They share a magical night together with fireworks, crabs (the ocean kind), and broken glass. All is right in the world of Charlie Kelly.

However, the next morning, The Waitress wakes up on the beach, appalled, as she had been on ecstasy during their encounter. She quickly goes back to being her usual bitch self, and Charlie, ever the happy wanderer, chalks it all up to experience and moves on. With that, the gang meets back up at the van and quickly agree it’s time to get out of dodge.

Questions:

• Dee’s hair: fashion do or fashion don’t?
• Was anyone else surprised that what happens under the boardwalk was able to slip by even FX’s liberal Standards and Practices?
• Something tells me this episode was not sponsored by the Atlantic City tourism board.
• Anyone excited to see The Waitress in this episode? Yeah, me neither.
• “Vacation” by The Go-Go’s: good montage or best montage ever?

Quotes:
• “Do NOT swim to Europe. Got it”
• “Disregard that, Frank. It’s a bunch of liberal bullshit.” (In reference to the sign that says toxic spill)
• “Warm sun, cool ocean breezes, getting’ ripshit on ham…”
• “It should have been you!” (Frank yelling at Mac In reference to the loss of the rum ham)

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