It’s less than a week before HBO finally rewards us with a second season of Game of Thrones. Unless, of course, it’s HBO’s idea of a funny joke to reveal the premiere was just an April Fool’s Joke, in which case I’ll have their heads on a pike. I hit my limit with the joke The Sopranos finale.
Game of Thrones first season was controversial for it’s liberal use of nudity. While some found it crass, it did help to make boring expository scenes totally enthralling. Like SUPER enthralling. Another criticism of the show has been that there are far too many characters, and following all of their plotlines gets difficult. To those with that complaint, sorry. The cast of Game of Thrones is about to grow from a large amount of people to every single actor in England. But it shouldn’t be that confusing once you get pulled into the story. To help those who need a handy point of reference while watching, we’ve decided to break down all of the new faces we’ll be seeing this April.
Stephen Dillane of John Adams and King Arthur fame joins the series as Stannis Baratheon, the rightful heir to the throne. He knows that he is next in line and wants what is his. He even goes so far as to align himself with a supernatural priestess who uses a mysterious power to help him.
It wouldn’t be Game of Thrones without creepy quirks for the characters. Liam Cunningham plays one such character. Davos Seaworth (aka The Onion Knight) earned his knighthood by smuggling food to Stannis Baratheon during a siege. Not only did Stannis thank him with knighthood, but he also punished him by cutting the fingers off his left hand. Agreeing with his king’s decree, Davos happily wears his finger bones on a necklace. Let’s hope he takes it off during sex.
Maester Cressen plays an elderly adviser to Stannis who finds himself in opposition of Lady Melisandre. The two repeatedly struggle against one another for the King’s trust, but there can only be one winner. I hear Wal-Mart’s hiring though, gramps.
The Queen B causing everybody stress, Lady Melisandre is the priestess who backs Stannis 100%. It’s one thing to wear a campaign button or change out your Facebook avatar, but to actually start spell-casting to kill his rivals is a bit above and beyond. I guess it’s good to be passionate about something, though.
Not only does Season Two of Game of Thrones feature a witch, but it also has a lady knight! Brienne of Tarth joins Lord Renly’s guard while secretly harboring an attraction to him. The awkward and ugly Brienne is sarcastically referred to as Brienne the Beauty. Series writer George R. R. Martin has assured fans that Gwendolyn is plenty ugly enough for the role when not wearing makeup. Wow. Even for a fantasy writer, not smooth.
The stand up comic has had roles in The Wolfman and Gulliver’s Travels. But don’t hold that against her. **rimshot**
Whelan will play the long-lost sister of Robb Stark’s best friend/emissary. In the book, she’s known as Asha Greyjoy but will be referred to as “Yara” in the television series. Probably because it sounds like a name that’s easier for a pirate to pronounce. She is a badass warrior that commands a fleet of ships after all.
Theon’s pops is Lord of the Iron Islands where Theon hails from. He’s sent to bridge the gap between the two families, but seeing as Theon was essentially kidnapped by the Starks, his dad is all like, “Oh, HELL NO!”
This seems to be the only character created specifically for the show. Though it is assumed that he is based on Cleos Frey from the books. One thing is for certain: either way, he is a Lannister. Which means you’d better keep him away from Cersei. She probably wants to put her cougar paws all over him.
To say anything about Jaqen H’ghar may reveal far too much about the second season for anyone hoping to be in the dark. But rest assured, the German actor is certain to make an impression this season.
You may have seen him in this past summer’s Conan the Barbarian or various British series. You’ll now have a chance to Nonso Anozie play the merchant Xaro Shoan Daxos. Though kind of a shady and slippery dude, he offers help to Daenerys as she needs it.
When Renly proclaims himself as king, he needs to take a queen. Cue The Tudors and Captain America hottie Natalie Dormer to play Margaery Tyrell. It is arranged marriage obviously as Renly is far too busy gettin’ busy with Margaery’s brother Loras, “The Knight of Flowers.” I can’t decide if that’s just plain wrong or the plot of a future Jennifer Aniston movie.
Just know that we appreciate you Margaery.