Chelsea Handler Quotes: Rude and Crude but Oh So Funny

Wednesday, September 14 by Christen Henderson

<a href='http://www.screenjunkies.com/tag/chelsea-handler/' class='linkify' target='_blank'>Chelsea Handler</a> Quotes” src=”http://media1.break.com/breakstudios/2011/9/13/chelseahandler2.jpg” /></p>
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	Are you looking for the best Chelsea Handler quotes? Well, duh, everybody is! She is a funny lady with lots to be said. Chelsea Handler is one of the most popular <a href='http://www.screenjunkies.com/tag/female/' class='linkify' target='_blank'>female</a> <a href='http://www.screenjunkies.com/tag/comedians/' class='linkify' target='_blank'>comedians</a> out there today. With her witty and raunchy lines about headlines, what's not to love? Here are the best of the best Chelsea Handler quotes!</p>
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	<strong> "I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around." </strong>This bad girl isn't always so bad. However, somtimes, everybody needs a drink on a bad date.</p>
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	<strong> "My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house." </strong>My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands. Now, this may be low, but the girl wanted to party. Handler is full of madness and craziness.</p>
<p style= <a href='http://www.screenjunkies.com/tag/chelsea-handler/' class='linkify' target='_blank'>Chelsea Handler</a> Quotes” src=”http://media1.break.com/breakstudios/2011/9/13/chelseahandler1.jpg” /></p>
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	<strong> "I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second… or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order."</strong> The outspoken <a href='http://www.screenjunkies.com/tag/comedian/' class='linkify' target='_blank'>comedian</a> makes no secret that she has had her fun days. This only makes for better jokes at the mic.</p>
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	<strong>“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” </strong>This can be said for a lot of women out there. Most women are scared to death of a serious relationship to be found out by their <a href='http://www.screenjunkies.com/tag/crazy/' class='linkify' target='_blank'>crazy</a> family.</p>
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	<strong>“Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.” </strong>The lady speaks truth! It's important that men realize this as well. Just because they hit it and quit doesn't mean women don't do the same thing.</p>
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