9 TV Shows That Lasted Way Too Long

Wednesday, October 5 by
At least they're aware. 

We were all shocked yesterday to find out that Fox is threatening the cast of The Simpsons with cancellation should they not agree to significant paycuts. Though, after twenty-three seasons, there are many out there that agree it might be time to retire the show. It’s not exactly terrible, but it’s also not what it once was. It’s probably too late for the series to go out in a blaze of glory, but it’s not too late for it to take a semi-gracious bow. Unlike these shows, who overstayed their welcome just like my friend Greg does at parties. That f*ckin’ guy.

Lassie

This isn’t a dis against Lassie. It was a great show, but how did they manage 588 episodes? When your kid is constantly getting trapped in mineshafts and pipes and falling into the lake (twice), it’s time to reassess. First, move away from the country. It’s too damn dangerous with all the falling hazards, rattlesnakes, and drifters passing through. You might also want to consider getting Timmy some help. The boy must have problems if he’s continually acting out in this way. You know what, never mind. I think a call to Children’s Protective Services is in order. It’s irresponsible parenting, even if your dog has an excellent understanding of the English language and the ability to decipher pantomime.

Prison Break

We all hung in there after the actual priso break mainly because it was kind of fun to see convicts on the run, even though it involve rubber hands and DB Cooper’s gold. Then season three landed the gang back in prison, albeit a tougher, more dangerous, more Panamanian prison, which was a fun return to form. Then the fourth and final season happened and it was totally bonkers. Somehow, the escapees were drafted to become a team of industrial spies conducting impossible missions in order to clear their names. And T-Bag got an office job. WTF?

Then, to drag the story out even further, a direct-to-DVD movie was released. That’s enough closure, Prison Break. Thanks!!

According To Jim

182 episodes of a Jim Belushi sitcom is 182 too many. How often can one watch “The Belush” getting into messy scrapes, chomping cigars and singing blues songs while hanging out with and not appreciating a wife who is way too hot for him is? I’ll never understand how a show like this thrives while awesome comedies live on the brink of cancellation.

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