9 Beloved Children’s Characters Who Are Obviously Gay

Friday, August 26 by

3. Babar


He dresses like Stanford Blatch from Sex and the City, and although the elephant is the symbol of the Republican party, a whole group called Log Cabin Republicans exists as gay supporters of the party. Oh. Babar is French, too. Pretty damning stuff here, folks. Do you know any straight guys that have THAT many hats? And lest you think that’s it, Babar has recently thrown his name behind a children’s yoga book. YOGA!

2. Most Smurfs


I feel I really don’t need to address the mannerisms or affectations of individual Smurfs to make my point here. Let’s just look at the numbers. There are at least 100 Smurfs, only one of who is female. I’m not going to make the belabored joke that she is a slut, because we all know that she is. Huge whore.

Rather, even if she was slutting it up to Snooki-eque proprtions, she still wouldn’t able to service all these little blue dudes. Living in Smurf Village is tantamount to being in prison for male Smurfs. I’m not saying they’re gay by choice, but lots of male Smurfs are having sex with each other. A lot.

1. Snarf


Well, I don’t know if the Thundercats character predates the gay sex term (I’m not going to link to it, but it’s easily Google-able), but I’m not willing to chalk the phenomenon up to coincidence. Snarf certainly carries himself like an old queen, with the giant mustache and the constant complaining. Also, that’s not how straight dude lay around. I’m not entirely sure that’s how gay dudes lay around either, but it’s pretty off-putting regardless. Snarf just really wants to be pampered. I can’t say I blame him, as we all deserve a diva day every once in a while, but he’s living a diva life.

Gay.

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