Pete Hoekstra, a Michigan senate candidate, has made quite a name for himself since his campaign ad aired on Super Bowl sunday (not nationally, of course). It’s not making news because he’s a lovable underdog, or he’s got an innovative way of looking at job creation or whatever else Michigan senators worry about. No, this ad stands out because it’s very, very racist.

I could describe how it’s racist, but that’s sort of like describing why a joke is funny. It’s better if you just see for yourself.

See? It’s racist! And more importantly, it’s a pretty stupid ad.

Well, for all the hell that Pete Hoekstra is catching, and it’s a lot, he’s not alone when it comes to leveraging racial stereotypes and insensitivity to get elected to office.

Yeah, it seems counterproductive to me too, but what do I know?

Tim James

Tim James thinks the best way to save money is to give all those driver’s license exams in English. All those other languages are bullshit in Alabama. Alabamans speak English. It just makes sense to him.

(stares pensively at ground, looks up)

“Does it to you?”

Spike Maynard

What I don’t get here is the need to gild the lily with the stereotypical “China-man” pics and the music. I know the American public may not be the smartest lot, but most of us know where China is and what that country is about. You don’t need to bombard us with pictures of fortune cookies to open our eyes.

I don’t know where I stand on letting people build windmills in China. I know I’m pro-Dutch windmills, but China? I’m just not sure. I’d have to ascertain whether or not they still have our spy plane. If they do, I say NO WINDMILLS. If they have given it back, I say YES WINDMILLS.

So it’s kind of a gray area for me, unlike Spike Maynard.

David Vitter

Charlie Melancon has cut a hole in the border’s chain link fence so that Mexicans may walk through, already looking like extras from Stand and Deliver. And David Vitter thinks that’s pretty shitty. David Vitter is anti-throwing-ironic-welcoming-parties-for-illegals and anti-them-riding-around-in-OUR-limousines.

And this commercial claims that Charlie Melancon passed some sort of ordinance keeping police from arresting illegal immigrants. Dammit Melancon! You’re coddling illegals!

Dan Fanelli

We’ve discussed this ad before on Screen Junkies. Dan Fanelli LOVES racial profiling! He thinks that if we focus on the Middle Eastern folks, no more planes will explode, which is comforting. He also thinks really oddly-shaped white men don’t look like terrorists. I mean, I don’t either, but now that this commercial has aired, who do you think the terrorists would recruit to blow up a cruise ship or football stadium? That’s right. Oddly-shaped white people.

That said, Dan Fanelli’s body is more or less a regular shape (and thoroughly unspectacular) so even if you disagree with his profiling, you have to admit, he’s no terrorist.

Sharron Angle

This clip is actually a collection of Sharron Angle promos all saying the same things: Illegal immigrants will move across the border, join dangerous violent gangs, then kill your entire family. Or maybe just make you live in fear.

Sharron Angle definitely doesn’t think they’ll contribute to society by performing menial tasks cheaply, thus allowing us to continue to enjoy the goods and services we love at affordable prices.


He may be out of the election, but he’s still taking up residency in our hearts and minds, as his righteous ads bitching about how gays can openly serve in the military, but kids get beaten with reeds if they so much as say “Santa” in school.

They always say “finish with your best material and leave ‘em wanting more.” Well, this is our best material, and regardless of what you thought of Perry, it’s a shame we don’t have those batshit crazy ads to make fun of anymore.

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