HBO aired the final episode of Entourage last night, but as far as I'm concerned, that crap went off the air in 2007. Though it was occasionally fun in the beginning, the show tanked soon after, and I wasn't patient enough to watch it recover. And from what I hear, it seems like it never did. So, we pour a Budweiser on the concrete for the second douchiest show on television (RW/RR Challenge holds the top spot) with this rundown of what went wrong and drove viewers away and why hot chicks weren't enough to keep us watching.


Vince is up for a big movie. Oh no, Vince isn't going to do the movie. Oh wait, now Vince is going to do the movie. Vince needs to get on a flight. Oh no, flights are sold out! Oh wait, Kanye West will give Vince a ride in his private jet. There's no conflict or consequences and the plot's suffer because of it. I only like to watch things work out in my own life. I need plot twists and character growth to hold my interest.

Product Placement

Though producers try their best to sometimes integrate products into the plot, Entourage really isn't much more than a gigantic advertisement. For instance, Budweiser. It's everywhere all of the time. You would think that the suave, millionaire star of Aquaman would have something a bit more refined than sudsy piss water on hand for his hot model party guests. Also, how about an episode where we see Turtle have to bring all of those bottles to the recycling center? If he really has an expensive sneaker habit to support, he'd be all over those deposit fees.

This Guy

Everyday is Christmas for this guy and it makes no sense. Yes, he can drive well and he's got good weed, but other than that, he's just taking, taking, taking. He sleeps in Vince's house, drinks Vince's Budweiser (see above), and tries to sleep with the girls that Vince didn't feel like sleeping with. Oh, and you just know this asshole has never done a dish in his life.

Billy Walsh

Crazy people are drawn to working in film. It's ego, ego, ego, and this was depicted really cleverly with the supporting character of Billy Walsh. The anti-establishment director of Queens Boulevard was good in small doses. However, the Medellin storyline was just too much Billy. We laughed at first, but you can only laugh at the same joke so many times.

This Other Guy

Kevin Dillon draws upon his real-life experience of playing a movie star's less successful actor sibling to play a movie star's less successful actor sibling. Johnny Drama is a fun character in theory, but in execution, he became a cartoon. Though a strong source of entertainment in the early seasons, Drama quickly devolved into the easily-duped dimwit who would collide into a picture of a tunnel entryway if you were to tell him there was a hot chick on the other side. They may as well have had him float on the scent of perfume a la Pepe Le Pew.

People Don't Walk Like This

Outside of groomsmen photos, dudes don't walk like this. It looks totally posed and unnatural, yet this is how these characters constantly travel from Point A to Point B. It's arrogant and takes up too much of the sidewalk. What if a passerby is in a big hurry? It's just inconsiderate.

I'm not suggesting single file, but perhaps they could try two smaller clusters. This would also make conversation a lot easier rather than Johnny Drama having to later ask E for a recap of what Ari was talking about on their way into Panera Bread.

Douchebags Banging Hot Chicks

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy hot chicks. They're soft and smell good and enjoyable to look at. They are welcome on my television. In fact, they are the reason I continued to watch Entourage long after it jumped the shark. However, watching an endless string of hot chicks being ruined by hopping into bed with the show's main douchebags didn't turn out to be that good of a time. Get your hands off those girls, Entourage d-bags. I saw them first and called dibs!

Speaking of hot chicks, check out these photo galleries of Entourage girls Kate Mara and Kimberly Fisher.