The NFL is not a place for the weak. In order to win, you need to push your body and mind to their limits, and even that isn't enough all of the time. It's an aggressive, punishing sport. So why does it constantly get paired with the cheesiest, fluffiest music? For years, half-time shows and TV theme songs have been performed by odd choices that have nothing to do with the sport. So, why has pop continually gone hand in hand with the big game? It doesn't keep the momentum going and it's not pleasing to anyone with ears. Does the NFL really think a shitty musical act is going to make non-fans interested? Is it intended to get our kids dancing? We're not trying to raise cheerleaders.

Here's a collection of the worst musical performances that we've had to suffer through to enjoy smashmouth football. And, no, Smashmouth did not make the list. Though they so could have.

P!nk - Sunday Night Football Theme

Y!kes!! Th!s st!nks! !'m afra!d P!nk m!ght not be taken ser!ously as an art!st after do!ng th!s. Even Hank W!ll!ams, Jr !s less hokey than th!s and he's l!ke a poor man's Randy "Macho Man" Savage.

Elvis Presto - Super Bowl XXIII

Of course, we were all shocked when Janet Jackson's breast was exposed during the Super Bowl XXXVIII Half-Time Show, but at least that was a show. Take a look at what passed as a Half-Time Show at Super Bowl XXIII. A magic Elvis doing an elaborate, non-nonsensical card trick while dancers end their careers behind him. No wonder the Bud Bowl was so popular. This wouldn't even be cool on a cruise ship. I really hope the FCC fined somebody over this.

Kat DeLuna - National Anthem

If Kat DeLuna thought these Dallas Cowboys fans were harsh when she butchered the National Anthem, she'd better be happy she didn't mess with the Anthem of Texas. I'm told they hate that.

Hank Williams, Jr. - Monday Night Football Theme

Are you ready for some football? Okay. How about an aircraft carrier and some sweet jets? What if busty cheerleaders parachuted from these jets and badly-delivered jokes where celebrated with high fives?? Seriously, you're ready for all that?? Even the Statue of Liberty throwing her arms up in what could be disgust? I appreciate the sentiment but if the troops were to see this, they'd likely choose not to come home.

Mariah Carey - Thanksgiving Half-Time Show

When Atlanta met Detroit for the 2005 Thanksgiving game, I'm sure nobody in the crowd expected to see anything worse than the Lions on the field. How sadly mistaken they were. The production value on this actually goes DOWNHILL after Mariah emerges from a chintzy foam butterfly, which is hard to do outside of middle school talent shows.

Indiana Jones, Patti LaBelle, Tony Bennett, and Miami Sound Machine - Super Bowl XXIX

When the evil black magic cult, Kali Thuggee, steals your Lombardi Trophy, there's only one person who can put a stop to them. And that one person is at unknown actor playin Indiana Jones... as well as Patti Labelle... and Tony Bennett... and Miami Sound Machine. I swear this is from the half-time show for Super Bowl XXIX and not a fever dream I had after too much Robitussin.

Black Eyed Peas - Super Bowl XLV

I never did feel that cover songs were their strong suit.