Though he's likely too busy being married to God, The Bachelor host Chris Harrison has announced that he spoke with Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow about joining the show. “I’ve actually met Tim Tebow. I met him about becoming our next Bachelor,” says Harrison. He went on to say that Tebow said yes but the demands of his football career will prevent his inclusion.

That's fine because there are at least a million candidates btter suited for The Bachelor. In fact, of those million, here are the top seven. Here you go, girls. Feast your eyes on these heart breakers.

Franck Ribery

What women wouldn't swoon at the opportunity to romance an international footballer? These guys are wealthy, tremendous athletes who are adored all over the world. Even Franck Ribery, who looks like the offspring of Michael Richards and Sloth. The man is a national treasure in France. Sure, you might have to compete with underage prostitutes for his affections, but boys will be boys.

Ted Williams

Ted Williams is off the streets, rehabbed, and has rebuilt his life. In other words, dude is ready to mingle. And that voice, that silky, golden voice that so perfectly purrs the time and temperature. America's ready to get to know the new and improved Ted Williams. And I'm sure the lovely young succubi on The Bachelor would be more than ready themselves.

Russell Brand

Now that he's back in the dating pool, this is Russell Brand's perfect opportunity to win back America after the pain he's caused our nation's greatest cocktease. At the very least, it's his best option for getting ass and money at the same time. It's douche waffle fries like this that always pull the shallow party girls The Bachelor casts. Plus, he's likely to be the only bachelor that will make the girls do demeaning sh*t like walk around on all fours.

Although I can see Franck Ribery trying that too. Dude's into some freaky sh*t.

Plaxico Burress

Handsome, athletic, rich, and a Super Bowl champ! Plaxico Burress is the total package. Assuming that you're cool with the fact that the total package might accidentally shoot you or destroy your car at some point during the courtship.

Hockey Dad

Most women would be turned off by the idea of marrying a guy who murdered his son's hockey referee with his bare hands in front of several children. But those women aren't taking into account that Hockey Dad is a devoted father. He's literally willing to kill over a call he didn't like at a youth hockey pick up scrimmage. Imagine what he'll do for you when your ex tries to make you jealous.

That Guy Who Played The Early Bad Guy On 'The O.C.'

He seems like a good dude. Hook him up.

Steve O

Where's the loyalty, ABC? Steve O was a hit when he appeared on Dancing With the Stars. The man knows how to treat a lady and think of how romantic his proposal will be. That's right. He'd get all fancied up with a top hat, a tuxedo shirt collar, a thong, rollerblades, and nothing else. Except for the bottle rockets he'd shoot out of his butt when she says yes.

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