A few weeks ago, I brought you the greatest topless scenes from HBO’s original programing, and today I’m doing the same for Showtime. While HBO used to have a monopoly on quality original series (topless or otherwise), Showtime has come into its own with shows like”Weeds,”"Dexter,” and “Califronication,” just to name a few. And like HBO, the network isn’t afraid to show some skin.
As with our last outing, keep in mind that I tried to spread the love around. I could have made a list entirely off of “Californication,” but instead, I went for variety. So, my apologies in advance if your favorite girl was left off (although, check our honorable mentions to be sure). That being said, deal with it. You’re still about to look at breasts, so all and all, you have nothing to complain about.
And I shouldn’t have to say this, but the video links are NSFW.
Aside from playing Peggy on “Californication,” Melissa Stephens also plays Ashlynn on “Outsourced.” But something tells me her breasts aren’t utilized nearly as much on “Outsourced,” which is a shame. If they were, I might give it a shot.
The show is already about illicit drugs, so who’s going to complain if you throw in a subplot about pornography for good measure? Not me, that’s for sure. Jessica Jaymes and Kirsten Price briefly crossed over to the mainstream with this guest spot on “Weeds,” but were then quickly returned to cages in the San Fenando Valley by their trainers.
Courtney Ford’s character on “Dexter” had some real daddy issues. This was compounded by the fact that her daddy was a serial killer played by John Litgow. At any rate, like most girls who have unresolved issues with their fathers, this character loved to get naked, and for that, I was grateful. Realism is important.
British history can be a pretty boring subject. Not many people care about a bunch of dead kings and queens. But throw a topless Charlotte Salt into the mix, and all of the sudden, I feel like reading the god damn Magna Carta.
Jaime Murray played a psychotic bitch on “Dexter.” Luckily, the character happened to be a psychotic bitch who loved to walk around topless, which made her 1000 times more tolerable. (Spoiler Alert) Topless or not, I’m glad she’s dead.
As evidenced by Natalie Dormer’s flat, pancake-like breasts, the producers of “The Tudors” went for realism. Despite what I said earlier, sometimes, realism is overrated. Even so, she still looks great.
Shanola Hampton is also big fan of getting topless. I expected a show called “Shamless” to involve some nudity, but the fact that Hampton is one of three topless women form the series really says something, considering it hasn’t even finished its first season.
I never liked “The ‘L’ Word.” The first time I watched it, I thought I was in for a treat. But then, the first naked breast I saw was being diagnosed with cancer. Talk about a boner killer. However, after watching this girl-on-girl scene, maybe I need to go back and give it another look.
Do you like breasts? Do you like “Saved by the Bell?” Then you’ll love this scene where Marie Louise Parker from “Weeds” gets railed by the Zack from “Saved by the Bell.” Do the math.
Emmy Rossum is my new favorite actress. That’s due, in no small part, to her willingness to get topless. In fact, it’s due entirely to that fact. Please note that the picture above does not correspond to the video. It’s not that I was too lazy to fix it, it’s just that I really, really love the picture.
Christina Ulloa is only in one episode of “Californication.” But in that episode, her character (Elizabeth) gets topless. So as far as I’m concerned, she had one of the most memorable roles on the show.
Our third and final entry from “Shameless” is Laura Wiggins. I have not actually seen her in the show, as I’m still catching up. But this shot of her topless in a bathtub completely justifies my decision to order Showtime.
For those of you who don’t watch “Californication,” Hank Moody is one lucky son of a bitch. Need proof? Look no further than Jackie, his stripper/girlfriend, played by Eva Amurri. My friend recently commented that Amurri looks like her mother, Susan Sarandon. I never noticed that. In fact, I didn’t even notice she had a face.
We didn’t have room for all the girls. Click on the picture above to see who barely missed the list.