13 Sexiest Topless TV Scenes: Showtime Edition

Tuesday, March 22 by

A few weeks ago, I brought you the greatest topless scenes from HBO’s original programing, and today I’m doing the same for Showtime. While HBO used to have a monopoly on quality original series (topless or otherwise), Showtime has come into its own with shows like”Weeds,”"Dexter,” and “Califronication,” just to name a few. And like HBO, the network isn’t afraid to show some skin.

As with our last outing, keep in mind that I tried to spread the love around. I could have made a list entirely off of “Californication,” but instead, I went for variety. So, my apologies in advance if your favorite girl was left off (although, check our honorable mentions to be sure). That being said, deal with it. You’re still about to look at breasts, so all and all, you have nothing to complain about.

And I shouldn’t have to say this, but the video links are NSFW.

Melissa Stephens – “Californication”

Aside from playing Peggy on “Californication,” Melissa Stephens also plays Ashlynn on “Outsourced.” But something tells me her breasts aren’t utilized nearly as much on “Outsourced,” which is a shame. If they were, I might give it a shot.

Click Here For The Video

Jessica Jaymes and Kirsten Price – “Weeds

The show is already about illicit drugs, so who’s going to complain if you throw in a subplot about pornography for good measure? Not me, that’s for sure. Jessica Jaymes and Kirsten Price briefly crossed over to the mainstream with this guest spot on “Weeds,” but were then quickly returned to cages in the San Fenando Valley by their trainers.

Click Here For The Video

Courtney Ford – “Dexter

Courtney Ford’s character on “Dexter” had some real daddy issues. This was compounded by the fact that her daddy was a serial killer played by John Litgow. At any rate, like most girls who have unresolved issues with their fathers, this character loved to get naked, and for that, I was grateful. Realism is important.

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Charlotte Salt – “The Tudors”

British history can be a pretty boring subject. Not many people care about a bunch of dead kings and queens. But throw a topless Charlotte Salt into the mix, and all of the sudden, I feel like reading the god damn Magna Carta.

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Jaime Murray – “Dexter”

Jaime Murray played a psychotic bitch on “Dexter.” Luckily, the character happened to be a psychotic bitch who loved to walk around topless, which made her 1000 times more tolerable. (Spoiler Alert) Topless or not, I’m glad she’s dead.

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Natalie Dormer – “The Tudors”

As evidenced by Natalie Dormer’s flat, pancake-like breasts, the producers of “The Tudors” went for realism. Despite what I said earlier, sometimes, realism is overrated. Even so, she still looks great.

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Shanola Hampton – “Shameless

Shanola Hampton is also big fan of getting topless. I expected a show called “Shamless” to involve some nudity, but the fact that Hampton is one of three topless women form the series really says something, considering it hasn’t even finished its first season.

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Mia Kirshner and Kate French – “The ‘L’ Word”

I never liked “The ‘L’ Word.” The first time I watched it, I thought I was in for a treat. But then, the first naked breast I saw was being diagnosed with cancer. Talk about a boner killer. However, after watching this girl-on-girl scene, maybe I need to go back and give it another look.

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Marie Louise Parker – “Weeds”

Do you like breasts? Do you like “Saved by the Bell?” Then you’ll love this scene where Marie Louise Parker from “Weeds” gets railed by the Zack from “Saved by the Bell.” Do the math.

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Emmy Rossum – “Shameless”

Emmy Rossum is my new favorite actress. That’s due, in no small part, to her willingness to get topless. In fact, it’s due entirely to that fact. Please note that the picture above does not correspond to the video. It’s not that I was too lazy to fix it, it’s just that I really, really love the picture.

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Christina Ulloa – “Californication”

Christina Ulloa is only in one episode of “Californication.” But in that episode, her character (Elizabeth) gets topless. So as far as I’m concerned, she had one of the most memorable roles on the show.

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Laura Wiggins – “Shameless”

Our third and final entry from “Shameless” is Laura Wiggins. I have not actually seen her in the show, as I’m still catching up. But this shot of her topless in a bathtub completely justifies my decision to order Showtime.

Click Here For The Video

Eva Amurri – “Californication”

For those of you who don’t watch “Californication,” Hank Moody is one lucky son of a bitch. Need proof? Look no further than Jackie, his stripper/girlfriend, played by Eva Amurri. My friend recently commented that Amurri looks like her mother, Susan Sarandon. I never noticed that. In fact, I didn’t even notice she had a face.

Click Here For The Video

Honorable Mention – Check Them Out

We didn’t have room for all the girls. Click on the picture above to see who barely missed the list.

Click Here to See Honorable Mention Pics

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COMMENTS

  1. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    AdmiralCrunch

    Ummmm…..What about Addison Timlin? She plays Sasha Bingham in the new season of Californication, and she has the greatest set ever unveiled on that show.


  2. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Anonymous

    Added to the honorable mention. Sorry about the oversight, sir.


  3. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    the new berlin

    Was this typed with your non-dominant hand? Sure seems like it.


  4. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Anonymous

    Ha, yeah. Sorry.


  5. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Anonymous

    Ha, yeah. Sorry.


  6. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Anonymous

    Ha, yeah. Sorry.


  7. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Anonymous

    Ha, yeah. Sorry.


  8. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Anonymous

    Ha, yeah. Sorry.


  9. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    blastermac

    WHATS ALL THIS CENSORSHIP GUYS


  10. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Amanda Smith

    It’s Natalie ‘Dormer’, not ‘Dromer’.


  11. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Paul Lalli

    Wait, wait, wait. Your very first “sexiest” topless scene is of a young-ish woman having sex with an old man, pretending to be his sister for his fetish? What in the HELL is wrong with you?


  12. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Anonymous

    Watch on mute.


  13. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Anonymous

    Thanks


  14. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    A Lady Who Likes Tits

    How could you NOT have all of the Lizzy Kaplan (the goth girl from Mean Girls) scenes from True Blood (particularly the ones where her and Jason Stackhouse get high on vampire blood)?


  15. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    causticartist

    There is a severe lack of L Word on here.


  16. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    causticartist

    There is a severe lack of L Word on here.


  17. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    causticartist

    There is a severe lack of L Word on here.


  18. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Anonymous

    Cause that’s an HBO show.


  19. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Paul Lalli

    I didn’t know that “mute” somehow magically made an old man having sex with a young woman “sexy”. Fascinating, the technology these days.


  20. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Anonymous

    Try it. You should also visit lemonparty dot org as soon as possible. I think you’d like it…a lot.


  21. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Donalyn Fei

    I’m not naughty, just behaviorally challenged.

    [url]http://bfu1.2lzy.com[/url]


  22. March 22, 2011 3:15 pm

    Natch

    Hey.. nipples good enough for the tube.. but not for the internet?? Who are you afraid of anyway?