What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

Tonight, Jessica Simpson’s cleavage makes Dane Cook palatable.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE break

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
Network: CBS
Time: 8 – 8:30PM

Reasons to watch: A cautionary tale that teaches us all we should be heavily-armed and alert on Christmas.

MAN VS. FISH WITH MATT WALSTON
Network: Discovery
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: This guy hunts marlin in the South Pacific on a jet ski and has to fight off bad weather and killer whales in the process. I don’t even like having to open a Gorton’s fish sticks box.

EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
Network: Comedy Central
Time: 8:30 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: The race is on for the vagina heart of Jessica Simpson when two workers discover she will more than likely sleep with whomever becomes Employee of the Month at Wal-Mart. That’s an unbelievalbe premise. Remember, this is 2006 Jessica we’re talking about.

STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN
Network: A&E
Time: 10 – 10:30PM

Reasons to watch: Steven Seagal helps rebuild a home destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. Sounds tame. When is he going to break someone’s arm??

BIOGRAPHY: JOAQUIN PHEONIX
Network: Biography
Time: 11PM – Midnight

Reasons to watch: Take an intimate look at the World’s Highest Man.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
The Dan Band

LETTERMAN
Alec Baldwin; Jay Thomas; Darlene Love performs

CONAN
Elijah Wood; Derek Fisher; Dwayne Perkins

KIMMEL (repeat)
Peewee Herman; The Jacksons; Passion Pit performs

FERGUSON
Paris Hilton; chef Jose Andres

FALLON
Joy Behar; Jonny Lee Miller; the Muppets