WHAT’S ON TV TONIGHT: WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 26th, 2009

Wednesday, August 26 by
Reckless driving, incarceration, bad food, tattoos, and strippers. Tonight’s TV Preview echoes a weekend in Vegas.
 
CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
 
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

 
LOCKED UP ABROAD
Network: National Geographic
Time: 8 – 9PM
 
Reasons to watch: Nat Geo should be careful. Rick James served serious jail time when he locked up a broad.
 
 
 
CRASH COURSE
Network: ABC
Time: 9 – 10PM
 
Reasons to watch: In the premiere of this new show, Dan Cortese and Orlando Jones host contestants as they compete in different automobile challenges. Including "car bowling" and backwards drag racing. My uncle once drove his car backward into a bowling alley but he didn’t get to meet Dan Cortese. He did get to meet Rick James though.
 
 
 
BIOGRAPHY: METALLICA
Network: Biography
Time: 9 – 10PM
 
Reasons to watch: This biography of Metallica is not to be confused with their documentary, Some Kind of Monster. Or their other documentary, Metallica: Cold Souls. Or that other other documentary of their’s, Metallica. Or Metallica: A Year and a Half in the Life Of Metallica #1. Or Metallimania: A Metallica Rockumentary. Or Metallica: Live Sh*t: Binge and Purge. (sigh) Or Metallica: The Complete Story. Or their episode of Behind the Music This is it‘s own thing.
 
 
 
MAN VS. WILD
Network: Discovery
Time: 9 – 10PM
 
Reasons to watch: Tonight Bear goes to Vietnam where he encounters a spitting cobra and eats a f&*%ing scorpion. Whatever, dude. Today on the train a woman LOOKED at me. Well… not AT me but NEAR me. So, yeah. Enjoy eating bugs and such.
 
 
 
NINJA CHEERLEADERS
Network: TMC
Time: 10 – 11:30PM
 
Reasons to watch: Trishelle Cannatella leads a trio of college students (who are also cheerleaders, exotic dancers, and ninjas) as they rescue their mentor from the mob. Personally I would take the ninja angle out of the film. It’s too hard to masturbate when they’re flipping around all over the screen.
 
WHO’S ON LATE
 
LETTERMAN
Anne Heche; Jim Parsons
 
CONAN
Bradley Cooper; Jon Lovitz; Franz Ferdinand
 
KIMMEL
Robin Williams; Bobcat Goldthwait
 
FERGUSON (repeat)
Holly Hunter; Camera Obscura

FALLON (repeat)
Fred Armison; Flo Rida
 
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