WHAT’S ON TV TONIGHT: WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 26th, 2009

Reckless driving, incarceration, bad food, tattoos, and strippers. Tonight’s TV Preview echoes a weekend in Vegas.

 

 

 

Network: National Geographic

Time: 8 – 9PM

 

Reasons to watch: Nat Geo should be careful. Rick James served serious jail time when he locked up a broad.

 

 

 

Network: ABC

Time: 9 – 10PM

 

Reasons to watch: In the premiere of this new show, Dan Cortese and Orlando Jones host contestants as they compete in different automobile challenges. Including "car bowling" and backwards drag racing. My uncle once drove his car backward into a bowling alley but he didn’t get to meet Dan Cortese. He did get to meet Rick James though.

 

 

 

Network: Biography

Time: 9 – 10PM

 

Reasons to watch: This biography of Metallica is not to be confused with their documentary, Some Kind of Monster. Or their other documentary, Metallica: Cold Souls. Or that other other documentary of their’s, Metallica. Or Metallica: A Year and a Half in the Life Of Metallica #1. Or Metallimania: A Metallica Rockumentary. Or Metallica: Live Sh*t: Binge and Purge. (sigh) Or Metallica: The Complete Story. Or their episode of Behind the Music This is it‘s own thing.

 

 

 

Network: Discovery

Time: 9 – 10PM

 

Reasons to watch: Tonight Bear goes to Vietnam where he encounters a spitting cobra and eats a f&*%ing scorpion. Whatever, dude. Today on the train a woman LOOKED at me. Well… not AT me but NEAR me. So, yeah. Enjoy eating bugs and such.

 

 

 

Network: TMC

Time: 10 – 11:30PM

 

Reasons to watch: Trishelle Cannatella leads a trio of college students (who are also cheerleaders, exotic dancers, and ninjas) as they rescue their mentor from the mob. Personally I would take the ninja angle out of the film. It’s too hard to masturbate when they’re flipping around all over the screen.

 

 

Anne Heche; Jim Parsons

 

Bradley Cooper; Jon Lovitz; Franz Ferdinand

 

Robin Williams; Bobcat Goldthwait

 

Holly Hunter; Camera Obscura

Fred Armison; Flo Rida