What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

Reasons to watch: Let Carrie Underwood get you into the "holiday" spirit. And by that, I mean turn the volume off and let whatever happens happen.
 

Reasons to watch: This is a show where police seek the aid of psychic children to solve their more difficult cases. Yeah, sure. Let’s enlist children to help us find missing persons/dead bodies. That’s a sound plan that couldn’t possibly lead to mental-scarring. And after they find the kidnapping victim/probably corpse, we’ll take them for ice cream so everything will be all good. Keep up the good work, Top Cops!

Reasons to watch: The team travels to a home thought to be possessed by a demon. The inhabitants tell stories of a levitating bed, a growling sound, and vulgar outbursts from their 3-year old daughter. Of course, it would be easy for skeptics to refute these claims. The bed floats because they’re probably hooked on Ambien, the growling sound is Ambien farts, and 3-year olds are generally a$$holes. Boom. Ghosts busted. Next house.

Reasons to watch: Rumor has it that Jersey Shore was originally titled Guidos. Well, then logic implies that this show was originally called Teen Milfs.
 

Reasons to watch: You need to know this movie backwards and forwards before you can even think about joining my Swashbuckler’s Club.