WHAT’S ON TV TONIGHT: TUESDAY, AUGUST 25th, 2009

Tuesday, August 25 by
Sadomasochism, a dead moon, spawn, super smart horses, and Mark Wahlberg. Tonight’s TV Preview contains plot elements from the next Stephen Sommers movie.
 
CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
 
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!

 
 
MAX PAYNE
Network: HBO
Time: 9 – 11PM
 
Reasons to watch: What better chance to turn off your brain and forget all your worries than by watching Mark Wahlberg mumble his way through a video game adaptation? Apart from being actually brain-dead, I mean.
 
 
 
THE UNIVERSE
Network: History
Time: 9 – 10PM
 
Reasons to watch: The program speculates what life on Earth would be like if the moon were to no longer exist. Well for starters, we’d have awesome waves to ride and no more threats from the werewolf community. I vote we do it.
 
 
 
BLUE VELVET
Network: IFC
Time: 8 – 10PM
 
Reasons to watch: Dennis Hopper steals the show as a sociopath hooked on huffing and dry humping. I’d say this is one of David Lynch‘s craziest films but this kind of behavior is standard in a Lynch movie. Kinda like the way that Spielberg likes trucking shots.
 
 
 
18 KIDS AND COUNTING
Network: TLC
Time: 9 – 9:30PM
 
Reasons to watch: Could any doctors reading this please explain to me how this man’s balls haven’t fallen off by now?
 
 
 
PRIMETIME
Network: ABC
Time: 10 – 11PM
 
Reasons to watch: Tonight’s program focuses on inmates who train wild mustangs to work with disabled teens. As cool as a seeing eye mustang would be, you can’t tell me that the prisoners aren’t secretly training those horses to burrow them out beneath the walls.
 
 
WHO’S ON LATE
 
LETTERMAN
Mary Louise Parker; Eugene Levy; Jet
 
CONAN
Quentin Tarantino; Mark Feuerstein; Smokey Robinson
 
KIMMEL
Gordon Ramsey; Rob Zombie; Friendly Fires

FERGUSON (repeat)
Eric Idle
 
FALLON (repeat)
Lauren Graham; Bill Engvall: Jonas Brothers
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