What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, September 10th, 2009

Thursday, September 10 by
Tonight on television, be sure to check out Satan, a blatant teen genre rip-off, clean comedy, and tig o’ bitties.
 
CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
 
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

 
VAMPIRE DIARIES
Network: CW
Time: 8 – 9PM
 
Reasons to watch: A young girl moves to a new town and falls in love with a boy that turns out to be a vampire. That sounds really familiar for some reason. Vampire Diaries, huh? I’d rather watch Vampire Diarrhea* than this.
*(hint: it has blood in it.)
 
 
BIOGRAPHY: DOLLY PARTON
Network: Biography
Time: 8 – 10PM
 
Reasons to watch: Biography devotes TWO BIG HOURS to the chesty chanteuse.
 
 
SUPERNATURAL
Network: CW
Time: 9 – 10PM
 
Reasons to watch: Season 5 begins with the Gates of Hell cracking open and Lucifer being freed. Way to go, demon-huntin brothers. I’m not gonna tell you how to do your job but I’m pretty sure that freeing Lucifer is grounds for dismissal in your line of work. Hand over your gun and your wolfsbane.
 
DEATH SENTENCE
Network: Cinemax
Time: 10PM – 12AM
 
Reasons to watch: Kevin Bacon seeks revenge against the gang members that killed his son. Judging by the size of that shotgun, I assume he doesn’t challenge them to a dance-off.
 
JIM BREUER: LET’S CLEAR THE AIR
Network: Comedy Central
Time: 11:30PM – 12:30AM
 
Reasons to watch: The highest-looking man in the world introduces his more family-friendly material with tonight’s special. Sounds like somebody wants a sitcom.
 
WHO’S ON LATE
 
LETTERMAN
Matt Damon; Jack Hanna
 
CONAN
Dennis Quaid; Paolo Nutini
 
KIMMEL
Nick Cannon; Rod Blagojevich; White Lies
 
FERGUSON
Kate Beckinsale; Andre Leon Talley
 
FALLON
Tyler Perry; Amber Tamblyn; Mario Batali
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