What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, October 5th, 2009

Reasons to watch: James Earl Jones used to be in every single movie. Then all of a sudden he was only in phone company commercials. And then cell phones put the phone companies out of business. Now, J.E.J. returns to television as an African Dictator in need of medical care on House. If I were Hugh Laurie, I would totally get him to leave my outgoing voicemail.

Reasons to watch: Hilary Duff guest stars as a movie star seeking to have a normal college life. Sorry Hilary. You lost any chance at normalcy when you sold your soul to the Mouse.

Reasons to watch: The CSI team investigates the deaths of volleyball players who died on the court. Looks like these players… (puts on sunglasses) got the big side-out.

Reasons to watch:Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott become court-ordered big bros to a couple of kids. Be sure to watch if you are a fan of boobies, sarcasm, LARPing, KISS, or general sassiness.

Reasons to watch: Video Hits One goes all CSI on our asses with their in-depth look at the murder of Tupac Shakur. To this day the crime remains unsolved with many thinking that Notorious B.I.G. or someone from his camp called for the hit. You know who you never hear named as a suspect in this whole thing? Farnsworth Bentley. Think about it. It’s always the butler.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Jamie Foxx

LETTERMAN
Steve Martin

CONAN
Ellen Page; Dierks Bentley performs

KIMMEL (repeat)
David Alan Grier; Pink performs

FERGUSON
Michael Sheen; Viola Davis; Jack Ingram performs

FALLON
Kristin Wiig; David Wells; Christopher Cross performs