Mr. Janus, Mr. T, and Mr. Kotter. Tonight’s TV preview is very polite when applying monikers.
CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!
BIOGRAPHY: MR. T
Time: 8 – 9PM
Reasons to watch: Once upon a time I met Mr. T and asked, "Hey Mr. T., how are you?" His natural response was: "I’m like Tony the Tiger! I’m GREEEEAAAATTTTTT!!!! All you other TV shows, you’d better eat your grubs and you’d better eat your protein cuz T is back on TV where he belongs!!! AYE-YAYE-YAYE-YAYE-YAYE!!!!"
No lie. Find out what makes this guy tick tonight at 8pm.
Time: 8- 9PM
Reasons to watch: The winners of tonight’s contest receive volleyball tips from 2000 Olympian Annett Davis. Volleyball tips. Really? Is that a thing of value outside of homo-erotic ’80’s movies? "Excuse me, Waiter. The meal was excellent. Do you accept ‘volleyball tips’ as payment? NO?! What planet are you from?"
THE TRUTH BEHIND THE SITCOM SCANDALS
Time: 9 – 10PM
Reasons to watch: Finally find out what really happened behind the scenes of Roseanne, Welcome Back Kotter, and The Facts Of Life. I bet that something went down with that Tootie. She always seemed like a shifty one.
Time: 9 – 10PM
Reasons to watch: To prove that he is the most dominant force in athletics, Shaquille O’Neal challenges a variety of players across the wide world of sports. In the series opener, Shaq takes on Steeler’s QB Ben Roethlisberger in a test of football skills. Can Roethlisberger survive a motorcycle accident AND a Shaq Attack?! We shall see…
PRIMETIME: THE OUTSIDERS
Time: 10 – 11PM
Reasons to watch: Juju Chang interviews those who have had contact with extraterrestrials as well as skeptics. If I were to ever make first contact with an alien species I, like most Americans, would kick it between the legs. You know, just to say I did it.
WHO’S ON LATE
Diane Kruger; Donald Trump; Billy Currington
Bruno; Stephen Moyer; Cirque de Soleil; Zumanity
Kevin Bacon; Michael Irving
John Krasinski; Stephen Moyer