A hard decision, social experiments, celebrity garage sales, and a double dose of Diddy. Here’s your guide to be what’s on TV tonight.
FIND OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!
THE BACHELORETTE FINALE
Reasons to watch: Tonight on the season finale of The Bachelorette, Jillian must choose between Ed and Kiptyn. The choice will be difficult. On the one hand, Ed had trouble rising to the occasion when he and Jillian had some "alone time" (read: f*cking). And on the other hand, the other guy’s name is Kiptyn which sounds like what you might name a fruity Superman villain.
DATING IN THE DARK
Reasons to watch: To prove the point that love is blind (unless you’re hot) champions of good taste ABC are airing another episode of the Cimmerian matchmaking show Dating in the Dark. What is this doing on ABC? Seems more like the type of show that would be on FOX. Wait, no. If it were on FOX the contestants would be literally blind. And the room would be filled with fly paper and bear traps. And probably bears too.
Reasons to watch: I worked on a shoot with Diddy once and he stopped production mid-take because he wasn’t sure if his sunglasses looked cool enough. The cast and crew waited patiently for 45 minutes while he alternated between two pairs of seemingly identical glasses before deciding to go with the pair he was wearing originally. With that in mind, I have a sinking suspicion that the episode of CSI: Miami he guest stars on tonight took seven weeks to film.
Network: History Channel
Reasons to watch: On tonight’s episode the guys attempt to sell a guitar owned by actor Robert Duvall. It is one lucky fan’s chance to own a piece of meaningless history.
MAKING HIS BAND
Reasons to watch: In the season premiere, hip-hop leprechaun Diddy auditions musicians to be the backing band for his upcoming FINAL tour. Competition will be grueling as he expects only the best. THIS TOUR MUST BE HISTORIC. After all, a rapper only gets the opportunity to retire seven or eight times in their career.
WHO’S ON LATE?
Judd Apatow, Meryl Streep
Samuel L. Jackson, Jamie Lynn Sigler
Chelsea Handler, Richard Wolffe
Holly Hunter, Mark Selliger, Spinal Tap