WHAT’S ON THIS WEEKEND? JULY 31st – AUGUST 2nd

Gang violence, angry Japanese people, a mentally unstable comedian, pugilism, alternative jams, and Dawson. This weekend’s television preview is as schizo as Dave Chappelle.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC

FRIDAY JULY 31st, 2009

WHALE WARS
Network: ANIMAL PLANET
Time: 9-10PM

Reasons to watch: The Shepherds try a new tactic after four days on fighting with the Japanese leaves no victor. Spoiler alert: Tickle Fight!!  On a side-note I’m disappointed that this show features zero battle whales.

SOUTHLAND
Network: NBC
Time: 8-9PM

Reasons to watch: In this repeat of the series opener, Officer Chino rides along with Officer Looks-Like-Sean-Astin and learns that the mean streets of Los Angeles can be a cruel bitch. A cruel bitch with an In-N’-Out Burger located conveniently every few miles give or take.

WHO’S ON LATE?

LETTERMAN
Dave Matthews Band, Regis Philbin, Ted Alexandro

CONAN
Adam Richman, Ben Harper and Relentless 7

KIMMEL
Anne Heche, Aubrey Plaza

FERGUSON
Saffron Burrows

FALLON
Adam Sandler, Jimmy Buffet

SATURDAY AUGUST 1st, 2009

AUSTIN CITY LIMITS
Network: PBS
Time: 9-10PM

Reasons to watch: Alt-rockers Wilco bring their twang to the Austin City Limits stage to perform songs from "Sky Blue Sky".

ROCKY MARATHON
Network: Spike
Time: 1:30PM-1:30AM

Reasons to watch: Do you really need a reason to watch a Rocky marathon? Oh, okay. How about because you have testicles?

SUNDAY AUGUST 2nd, 2009

THE STORM
Network: NBC
Time: 9-11PM

Reasons to watch: James Van Der Beek’s career sinks even further as he stars as an apocalyptic scientist on a mission to stop an evil tycoon from harnessing the awesome power of the weather. What’s the point of being a weather-controlling tycoon if you don’t call yourself The Typhoon Tycoon?

DAVE CHAPPELLE: KILLIN’ EM SOFTLY
Network: Comedy Central
Time: 9-10PM

Reasons to watch: I don’t understand why Comedy Central still gives Dave Chapppelle airtime. Don’t get me wrong. He’s brilliant. It’s just given their history, you’d think there would be sour grapes. but I guess not. Despite the fact that he took Comedy Central’s multi-million dollar check and fled to Africa without fulfilling the terms of his contract, the network still basically exists off the strength of his material. Maybe he should ask for a raise.