This weekend we’re certain you’ll be catching Brüno at least once. (If you’re not convinced of its worthiness, read Andy Rooney’s review here.) There’s also I Love You, Beth Cooper, which looks good and grating, other than Hayden Panettiere‘s involvement. But if you just feel like staying in, or you physically can’t get outside because of obesity issues or allergies, we’ve got a cornucopia of televised delicacies for your discerning palate. And none of them are cooking shows.
FIND OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP…
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!!
FRIDAY JULY 10th 2009
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM MARATHON
When: 8PM – 1:30AM
Reasons to Watch It: HBO is rebroadcasting Season One in its entirety and it’s your chance to relive the cringe-inducing magic as Larry proves the flaws in the AAMCO radio ads, learns an alternative use for hot sauce, and sullies the obituary of a beloved aunt. I’d be watching if I didn’t have all those orphans to photograph read to.
When: 9 – 10PM
Reasons to Watch It: In this episode, Jack is replaced by a robotic sheriff which I’ve got to admit is a pretty cool idea. Imagine at unstoppable, bullet-proof automaton that is hard-wired to follow the letter of the law. It’s like a folksy RoboCop. You steal a pie from a windowsill in this town, you get your neck shot off.
THE STATE / STELLA
Network: Comedy Central
When: 1AM – 3AM
Reasons to Watch It: In honor of Michael & Michael Have Issues premiere on July 15th (check out our exclusive interview here), Comedy Central is airing a handful of episodes of both The State and Stella this weekend. At 1am on Saturday morning to be exact. Because, yeah, that makes sense. It’s a much better strategy to show Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector ad nauseum than it is to properly launch your big summer premiere. Ha ha! I get it! He’s a health inspector who farts!!!
SATURDAY JULY 11th 2009
Reasons to Watch It: There will be tasering.
Above: Landon Donovan’s failed attempt at a 69-themed goal celebration.
MLS: LA Galaxy VS. Chivas USA
Network: Fox Soccer Channel
When: 11PM Eastern / 8PM Pacific
Reasons to Watch It: Because if you’re EVER going to get into MLS, then this is the matchup to make it happen. Not only are these two L.A.-based teams the most heated rivals in the league, and may get into fisticuffs on the field, but so may two members of the Galaxy. Yes, lil’ David Beckham is back from his jaunt with European superclub AC Milan just in time to have ESPN.com and Sports Illustrated running articles about how his teammate Landon Donovan thinks he’s a f**king terrible captain. Beckham’s not actually going to play in the game, but you can guarantee the FSC cameras will be trolling the sidelines trying to get a glimpse at his Golden Balls.
SUNDAY JULY 12th 2009
When: 9 – 10PM
Reasons to Watch It: Admittedly Season Twohas been getting off to a slow start compared to the jaw-dropping occurrences of Season One. But I’m confident that all the set up is about to pay off. What’s the deal with the scratches on Daphne’s back?! Will Lafayette become a vampire?! What trouble will Jason get into?! What’s with that weird witch lady?! Where’s all the nudity?!
Reasons to Watch It: It’s been long prophesized that the trinity of Jason Alexander, Ernie Hudson, and Christopher Lloyd would bring about an event that would end all life on this planet. And now that time is upon us. Goodbye suckers. I’m moving to space.
ENTOURAGE (Season Premiere)
When: 10:30 – 11PM
Reasons to Watch It: Time to break out your Ed Hardy shirts and set the collars to ‘pop’. The boys of summer are back!! I’m not sure what is in store for Vince and friends this season but I’ve got a feeling it will involve sitting by the pool, flashy cars, hot girls, stacks of money, acting street, being in a movie but then getting fired from the movie but then getting to be in the movie again, and douchebaggery.
And that’s it for the weekend. There are no late night shows happening tonight that seem to have any guests of interest, so we’re not even gonna print it. Why waste virtual real estate on Vince Vaughn when you can spend it on a prominently displayed Twitter badge?
By the way, every time we make these TV suggestions, we update our Twitter with a link. So follow us if you want to keep up.