Alright, it’s that time of day again for us to provide a handy guide of tonight’s worthwhile television offerings you need to watch. Of course, that’s assuming that you’re not worn out from watching Michael’s all-day memorial. No pressure but if you feel so inclined to turn down "Beat It" for a few hours. We got your back.
See what to watch after the jump:
NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Why to Watch It: The six remaining teams compete in a lagoon swim. In other words, Ali Landry and Joanna Krupa will be wearing bikinis. And there’s always a chance that Krupa will cuss out T.O. some more in that sexy accent of hers.
When: 9 – 9:30PM
Why to Watch It: A dentist converts his laundry room into a vintage Vegas-themed hangout. I can see the guy’s wife now, a full laundry basket in her hand and a confused look on her face. “Honey, what happened to our laundry room? And why is Don Rickles in there??? And what’s a gunt????”
Network: Comedy Central
When: 9:30 – 10PM
Why to Watch It: This is a classic episode of
RESCUE ME “WHEELS”
When: 10 – 11PM
Why to Watch It: Denis Leary and the boys plan an outing for children from the cancer ward. It just occurred to me that this would make an AWESOME reality show. It’s a good thing that the name Survivor is alread taken because… you know… false hope and all.
When: 10 – 10:30PM
Why to Watch It: This show follows the misadventures of a washed up rock band that has to play children’s parties to make ends meet. Tonight’s episode guest stars Daryl Hall as well as Dave Navarro of Jane’s Addiction and putting-his-penis-in-hot-girls fame.
Why to Watch It: Though the movie didn’t do as well as expected at the box office, Robert Rodriguez‘s Planet Terror is still Grade-A entertainment. In one standout scene, a stripper with a machine gun leg takes on a horde of interstellar zombies in an explosive and gory melée. I know, it’s like they filmed Sam Raimi’s bachelor party.
WHO’S ON LATE:
Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart (NEW): Neurologist Oliver Sacks, author of “Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain”
Conan (NEW): Samuel L. Jackson, Kevin Connolly, Adam Bird
Letterman (NEW): Sacha Baron Cohen, Joel McHale, Rob Thomas
Colbert (NEW): Lee Seigel, author of “Against The Machine Being Human in the Age of the Electric Mob”
Kimmel (Repeat): Kathy Griffin, Ramon Rodriguez, Ben Harper
Fallon (Repeat): Anne Hathaway, Will Forte, Jon Favreau, Mario Batali
– PATRICK SCHUMACKER and MATT SEARS