The post-Super Bowl hour long episode of the office starts off with a disgruntled Dwight starting a fire to teach the workers how to deal with fire, the hard way. "Everybody calm the !@#$ down!" Says Michael. The whole place goes into chaotic fury– Michael tries to break a window, Oscar climbs up into the ceiling (only to fall out), Kevin loots the vending machine, Jim rams the Xerox into the door to try and get it open, etc. Dwight sounds his air horn, and tells the employees that it was merely a simulation. Stanley has a heart attack, with Michael set on giving him mouth to mouth. Things are off to an awesome start.
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Dwight and Michael go to a meeting where the higher-ups give a stern talking to the men. Michael defends Dwight by insisting that they strip him of his Security Officer position and partition some of his pay to a non-profit organization that Dwight doesn’t like (PETA). In the car after the meeting, Dwight informs of a bomb scare he has planned, but Michael stands against this feeling guilty for Stanley’s heart attack. He himself becomes the new Security Officer.
Meanwhile Stanley returns to the office. Apparently he has not been handling issues with his coworkers in a calm way. It proves to be challenge with all the characters at the office.
At a CPR seminar, Michael convinces Stanley to step up and perform CPR on the dummy. He begrudgingly accepts, but Michael pushes him out the way to show him the right way. He proves to be pumping the chest waaaay to fast, so the instructor tells him to use the rhythm of the BeeGee’s ‘Stayin’ Alive.’ Andy then starts singing the song, Michael starts clapping, and some of the workers start dancing. A still disgruntled Dwight takes charge and cuts the dummy open to find it’s organs, and then cuts it’s face off and wears it a la Silence of the Lambs. He gets in trouble again.
Jim and Pam watch an illegally downloaded movie about an older woman and a young man who become more than friends (with Jack Black, Jessica Alba and Cloris Leechman) on Andy’s computer. Pam’s cell phone rings, and it’s revealed that her parents have bee fighting a lot recently, and that her father is staying at her place. Jim gives her some comforting words about communication and misunderstanding, and Andy thinks they are disecting the movie.
At corporate’s orders, Dwight has to issue an apology to the office. Where he simply pulls out a piece of paper and says "I state my regret."
After a steamy scene of the illegally downloaded movie (involving Jack Black and Cloris Leechman kissing), Jim agrees to talk to Pam’s dad about what’s going on.
Michael organizes a meeting set on relieving some stress for the workers. He tells them all to lay down on the ground while he guides them through a relaxing fantasy, Michael style. Stanley has a meter that starts beeping when he gets stressed out, and it starts going off as Michael paints his fantasy for everyone. Turns out that everytime he steps closer to Stanley, the beeps get more frequent, and when he walks away, the beeps stop. They conclude that Michael’s stressing every one out.
Pam gets a phone call from her Mom, and finds out that her Dad has started looking for an apartment. She immediately blames Jim for saying something to make him act like that.
Michael concludes that he his stressing people out because nobody is honest with him, so he proposes a Michael Scott Roast. Some of the employees show definite interest, and even say that they want to make him cry.
The Roast begins. Angela begins by revealing that Michael puts sunblock on windows, and called the fire department when he got his head stuck in a chair. Kelly goes up there, and lists people she would rather kiss than Michael Scott: "A turtle, a fridge, anybody from the warehouse, a woodchipper, Kevin, a candle, and Lord Voldemort." Meridith steps up, and recalls the time he ran her over in a car and poster her bare chest on the bulletin board with the words ‘Gross!’ Oscar goes on a passionate rant in Spanish, and Jim describes the Michael Scott-ism known as ‘spider face.’ Dwight tries to defend him, but Michael calls him an idiot, so Dwight calls him a pathetic short little man with no friends. Pam reveals that she saw him naked and then mocks his penis, "if it were an iPod, it’d be a shuffle."
An embarassed and saddened Michael steps up to the stage. But he’s too shacken up to deliver his speech, so he runs out of the room. He doesn’t show up for work, and decides to take a personal day. Pam and her Dad meet up outside of the office. Afterwards, she meets up with Jim to tell him that he was the reason her Dad decided to split. But only because Jim told her Dad that he loved Pam more than anything and that whenever she walked into the room…yadda yadda yadda…and so they hug and further accentuate their soul-matesmanship with eachother.
Michael shows up at the Office and roasts everyone pretty darn well. They all laugh and clap for him, and all is well in the Office. The episode ends with a scene from the fake movie Andy illegally downloaded. Jack Black starts to cry as he sees his former grandmother love interest making out with another younger man.