Scrubs Recap: My Cuz
J.D. struggles with the realities of being a part time father when he learns that Kim is now dating Sean, Elliot’s ex-boyfriend. Meanwhile, Turk busts some balls to get promoted to the position of Chief of Surgery.
Elliot and J.D. are in the car on the way to Kim’s house to drop off Sam. Kim answers the door and adjusts J.D.’s collar. On the way home Elliot makes J.D. pull over for car sex so she can mark her territory. Elliot's possessive nature forces her to get intimate with J.D. if Kim so much as touches him. J.D. has found a way to make this work to his advantage. The next time he drops Sam off, he places a piece of fuzz in his own hair so that Kim will reach into it and pluck the fuzz, sending Elliot into a frenzy. Before leaving for car sex, Kim introduces her new boyfriend, Sean, who is Elliot’s ex and J.D.’s arch-nemesis.
Making It Happen
Cox is annoyed because he has to find a new Chief of Surgery. He tells Turk that he is considering hiring an ape… perhaps even the janitor. Turk tells Carla that he’d be great for the job. Carla agrees and boosts Turk’s ego by reviewing his history of “making it happen.”
Janitor discusses married life with the Todd over muffins. Conversation turns to Kelso who had stayed in the Bahamas, intruding on Janitor’s honeymoon. Kelso has hardly any memory of this at all. An announcement goes out that the coffee shop has to close early because the pastry maker was admitted to the hospital having contracted a highly contagious intestinal virus. Naturally, Kelso acquires the virus as well and admits himself to Sacred Heart for treatment.
Pot and Kettle
Kim and Sean discuss how they met. J.D. learns that Elliot had introduced them. He also lea rns that Elliot had promoted Sean’s skills in the sack. Elliot denies this to J.D.’s face, but winks at Sean to confirm what she’s told Kim. J.D. is annoyed that Sean is back in his life, but Elliot points out how she feel the same annoyance whenever they drop Sam off at J.D.’s ex-girlfriend’s house. J.D. refuses to accept that the two are the same thing. Later, J.D. provokes an argument with Sean, and, in an act on defiance against her, starts wearing the perfume Elliot likes least.
Decision Committee’s Denial
Turk has his interns practice stitching up oranges. He tells Cox that he wants to put in for chief of surgery.
“I’m the best cutter in this place and you know it.”
Cox offers to consult with the “decision committee” and immediately has a conversation with himself. Ultimately, the decision committee opts to pass on Doctor Turk… Later, Turk awaits Dr. Cox in his office, acting as though he already got the job. Cox tells Turk that he doesn’t deal with delusional people. In response, Turk sends his colleagues in to bat for him and Cox spends the next few hours listening to all the good things everyone has to say about Dr. Turk.
Kelso spends most of the episode trying to be his own doctor after Carla explains that one of the interns will be tending to him. Kelso selects the intern that did not stitch an orange to her shirt: “the foreigner”, or Sonny.
At a café table, Elliot and Kim agree to talk out their feelings while J.D. and Sean sit at the table to do the same. Stepping outside, Elliot and Kim confess to one another that they used to dream about the other one dying. J.D. and Sean begin wondering what the women are talking about. J.D. hopes they aren’t comparing sexual notes, but Sean lays that worry to rest.
“Girl’s don’t talk about that stuff,” he says assuredly.
Outside, the women are comparing dirty secrets. They are, in fact, talking about sex. In a comedic role-reversal moment, J.D. proposes that he and Sean find one nice thing to say about each other, while the girls discuss intercourse. J.D. tells Sean that he is a beautiful man, but Sean can’t find a nice thing to say about J.D. Dr. Dorian also mentions that they are “weiner cousins” and should be friends… they have, after all, gotten down with the same women. As J.D. tries to explain the concept of “wiener cousins”, he hooks his two index fingers together for emphasis. Sean has a hard time accepting that he and J.D. are wiener cousins. J.D. approaches Elliot and explains that Sean and he have finally found common ground, now that they are wiener cousins. Elliot is excited because she and Kim are “bajingo-sisters”, and has likewise made her peace with her enemy.
J.D.’s excitement is short-lived however when he realizes that his baby always cries when he is holding him, but stops crying immediately when handed over to Sean. He is convinced that Sean is dating Kim just so he can turn J.D.’s son against him.
All over the hospital, doctors begin hooking fingers when certain secrets are revealed…
Turk’s war on Cox is at a stalemate, when Turk pulls out the big guns. He sics Carla on Dr. Cox. She uses her personal relationship with Dr. Cox to try and pull some strings. She drops the hint that she’s about to have another baby and could really use the extra cash, but her motives for recommending Turk aren’t selfish. She truly believes that he’s the right man for the job.
Kelso is doctoring his files when the Janitor catches him. They talk about the Bahamas and Kelso asks Janitor to block the door so he can give himself an injection. We sense that there is some ancient bond with Kelso which forces Janitor to comply, but we are uncertain as to what that is… until Kelso and Janitor hook fingers.
J.D. gives his reasons for conspiring against Sean. He explains that when his parents divorced his own father had done a poor job of being around. Young J.D. had promised himself that he would be a much better father than his own dad had been. When Sam cries while J.D. holds him, it makes J.D. feel like a failure. Kim tells J.D. that he is a great father and that perhaps he is reading too much into Sam’s reaction. Kids are apt to get fussy over the smallest things; noises, foods, smells.
J.D. discovers that it is the cologne he has been wearing to spite Elliot which causes his son to cry whenever he holds him.
Kelso and Dr. Cox stroll down the halls of Sacred Heart, like they’ve done so many times before. Only now, Cox is Chief of Medicine and Kelso is wearing a hospital gown. Kelso has learned through treating himself how much he misses being a doctor. Cox explains his dilemma concerning Turk, and Kelso reminds Cox that even though he’d hated him for years, Kelso had kept promoting Cox because he had always been the right man for the job.
“Is Turkleton the best man for this job?” Kelso inquires.
As if to answer the question the two doctors stumble upon an intern who has finished sewing a remarkable set of stitches in a patient’s leg. When asked where he learned to stitch like that, the intern explains that Turk had made everyone practice on oranges until they’d perfected the procedure.
When Cox gives Turk the job, the new Chief of Surgery grabs his wife and yells: “Hail to the Chief!”
J.D., Elliot, Kim, and Sean share another awkward moment in Kim’s apartment. Kim suggests that they all sit and watch a video compilation she has made of Sam on her camera. Watching the video, J.D. realizes how much of Sam’s childhood he’s already missed, and accepts that no matter how hard he tries, he is going to miss a lot because a part-time father is still a part-time father.
“I thin I am gonna move here,” J.D. says, unable to take his eyes off the video.
“Great!” Sean claims, sarcastically.
I understand that in order for a show to be interesting it has to follow a basic formula; introduce a dilemma of sorts, let the elements conflict, and sift through the fallout for resolution. Rinse, wash, and repeat. Fine. If the formula never changes it is necessary for the numbers you plug into it to be different, otherwise you’ll end up with the same damn conclusion. Take this episode for example, which--like mos Scrubs episodes--was fun, funny, and heartwarming. I must say that I experienced déjà vu when Cox spent the whole episode denying Turk a position he clearly deserves, only to come around and realize that Turk is a great guy, that he is the right man for the job, and--shucks--that he is going to end up with the position anyways. Why are we dragging out the issue and making a big deal of it again? I guess I just feel like this exact scenario has been done before.
What did surprise me was J.D.’s abrupt decision to spend more time with his kid by saying that he plans to move in with Kim. On the one hand I think it’s the right thing to do… for the kid’s sake, but after watching him fuck up his relationship with Elliot season after season, I was kinda hoping J.D. would finally cross the finish line without tripping over his own ankles. Now, I’ll bet my last dollar that the series will end with him and Elliot together on a more permanent basis, but I suppose this episode’s cliffhanger ending is only meant to keep us intrigued so we’ll see the show through to the end. It’ll be interesting to see how J.D. manages to pull of being a full-time father, and keep his relationship with the woman he actually loves. Let's keep our fingers hooke--I mean crossed--for him.
Recap by Jonathan Friedler