Recap: I Want To Work For Diddy Episode 1.02

Tuesday, August 12 by

Episode 2 “No Bitchassness” starts off with Diddy talking about how big his empire is. Sleep is forbidden, and every night he just cant wait to wake up and work.  So the teams are woken up at 5am and hustled out of the house onto a helipad where a chopper is waiting for each team.

Fat Kim (AKA Poprah) bends the rotors with her fatness. Not literally. The teams are flown to a military base. Since Rob was in the Sandbox with the Army, he’s excited about the prospect of a physical competition.
 

The first part of the competition includes the teams navigating. Borris is clearly uncomfortable with Laverne (the transvestite) which is probably why the producers teamed them up. Each team has to navigate their ways through the woods to obtain trivia questions about Diddy at each coordinate.  Kim has a coughing fit/asthma attack due to “pollen” and does not start the challenge.  Amazingly enough, each team gets lost, and Fat Borris also has trouble with the physicality of the task. Rob proves to not be an army of one, leading the team nowhere fast. 
The downtown team finds the first question before the uptown team. Then, they find the second question before uptown team. The uptown team finally arrives at the first question and gets the question wrong, causing them to go off course. Neither of the team finishes the task, suggesting that maybe none of them are situated to work for Diddy. They get reamed by the staffers. For the sake of the challenge, the downtown team wins, by default.

Back at the loft, the uptown team confronts Kim about pussing out and faking it. Kim responds by saying that they lost because nobody knows as much about Diddy as she does, and couldn’t answer the questions.
 

At the chopping block, people give Rob shit for being the army guy that could not find a coordinate in the woods. It’s fun to watch Rob, who was clearly at fault, try to pass the buck. The team ends up turning on Kim, saying that she’s too fat and shouldn’t be part of the team.  The decision comes down to Suzanne who has to be the tie breaker, deciding if Kim or Rob is up for elimination. She picks Kim, who is allowed to pick one person to put in the hot seat with her.  She chooses Rob.  In front of the judges, Kim and Rob lay into each other.  Kim compares herself to Jesus and Martin Luther King.  They deliberate. Rob is dismissed.

Bitchassness

Kim thinks that she is chosen by God to be Diddy’s assistant, which is why she keeps getting saved at the last minute by the producers. Her ego makes for good TV, because she is ridiculous. So if you like watching ridiculous people fight, watch the show.  God knows I do.

Best Quotes:

"There’s only a certain type of character that’s going to come out there with the head of the lion, bathed in riches, that’s the way I’m going to always come out. You could drop me anywhere. I’m going to survive."


"Sometimes the extra mile is 3000 miles away..that bitchassness is a disease that will make you want to go to sleep when you need to work harder."

Yes, they were both spoken by Diddy.
 

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