Michael & Michael & Screenjunkies – Watch more Funny VideosMost of what's on tonight is either a repeat or a real poop romp but we managed to find some suitable options for your viewing pleasure. Tonight's listings offer up an adolescent Kirsten Dunst, boobies, and amateur video. NOTE: This intro was designed to draw in search engine traffic from perverts. Harry Potter.FIND OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP…
Yo, yo, yo Junkies! Welcome to Tuesday's edition of What To Watch Tonight. We've combed the listings once more to give you our best offerings. In addition to the All-Star Game (to which we paid solemn tribute) there's a lot of options tonight. Essentially Roadhouse or a furry orgy. You've got some tough calls to make. Are you really going to foresake Patrick Swayze?? FIND OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP…
Okay fight fans! Tonight's recommended viewings all linger around the theme of fighting for survival in one way or another. So why not watch with a friend? And then why not punch them upside when they're not looking. I think you'll both get a pretty good laugh out of it. FIND OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP…
This weekend we're certain you'll be catching Brüno at least once. (If you're not convinced of its worthiness, read Andy Rooney's review here.) There's also I Love You, Beth Cooper, which looks good and grating, other than Hayden Panettiere's involvement. But if you just feel like staying in, or you physically can't get outside because of obesity issues or allergies, we've got a cornucopia of televised delicacies for your discerning palate. And none of them are cooking shows. FIND OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP…
Don't worry, dearest readers. we've once again combed through the listings to bring to you the bestest, mostest interestingest television viewing options for the evening. Unless, of course, you're into Samantha Who? and Grey's Anatomy. In which case, what the mother-effing eff are you doing here? Go read Holy Taco… girl.FIND OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP…
Alright Junkies, we're halfway through the week. You did it. You're a champ. Why not reward yourself by relaxing by the soft, cathode flicker of your television whilst sipping the finest of boxed wines? We've got some pretty great suggestions for tonight but felt it necessary to point out a strange programming phenomenon that is also taking place. While combing the listings we noticed programs called "15 and Pregnant", "16 and Pregnant" and "Obese and Pregnant" are all airing at some point across three different channels. Who's getting all these teenagers and morbidly obese women pregnant? I want an APB on Tracy Morgan immediately. See what to watch after the jump…
Alright, it's that time of day again for us to provide a handy guide of tonight's worthwhile television offerings you need to watch. Of course, that's assuming that you're not worn out from watching Michael's all-day memorial. No pressure but if you feel so inclined to turn down "Beat It" for a few hours. We got your back. See what to watch after the jump:
A dead gangster in a discarded chest is the result of several failed attempts on a witness’s life. Dewey flips his lid… and a squad car. Adams holds down the fort while witness- seeking bullets rain through her windows. "Derailed"The cops find a large chest on a hill overlooking LA. Inside the chest is a body with tattoos all over it. The discovery is sure to derail any holiday plans the cops had…
Re-cap:This episode begins in the same way that all Southland episodes to date have begun, which is to say that it begins in the middle of what’s going on. Officer Sherman is lying in bed with his arm wrapped around a woman. Our narrator cuts in to inform us that it is a violation of policy for an officer to get involved with a victim. Sherman knows this, but does it anyway. We learn quickly how the girl ended up being a victim, and gradually how she ended up in Sherman’s bed…
Detective Salinger’s gun is stolen by gang bangers and the detectives launch an off-record investigation to relocate the weapon. Their search takes them a bit deeper than they had anticipated. Worst NightmareSalinger removes himself from the driver’s seat of a vehicle he’s managed to wrap around a pole. All that remains of the hood is warped metal and smoke. He crumbles to his knees and spits blood. We learn that a cop’s most commonly recurring worst nightmare is one where they lose their gun. For Sal, the nightmare has become a reality. Everybody’s Doing ItTammy sneaks a joint in the bathroom she and Detective Bryant share. Sam is lying in bed, calling to his wife who won’t respond. The dog is going ape-shit, clawing at the door. Sam bursts in to find his wife getting high. He tells her to flush it which she does, but not before reminding him that he used to love doing it, too. Cat Lady
Parks and Recreation: The BanquetLeslie begins the episode by regaling the camera crew with the tale of William Bixby Mark, who traded a baby to a tribe of Native Americans for what is now Indianapolis. She then goes on to say that these same Native Americans cut off Mark’s face and crafted a dream-catcher out of it, before making rain-sticks out of his legs. After she praises the resourcefulness of these Natives, who use “every part of the pioneer”) the credits roll, and we’re off!
In the Scrubs series finale tears are shed, laughs are shared, confessions are made, disputes are resolved, and hugs that should have been distributed years ago are finally given. Morning SexJ.D.’s finale begins in the same place his career with Sacred Heart began eight years ago. He wakes this morning next to Elliot and thinks back to his first day and all the things that happened then. He remembers hiding with Elliot in the supplies closet, Kelso’s first unkind words to him, and the time Janitor accused him of sticking a penny in the door, sealing it shut. J.D. tries to use the fact that it’s his last d ay to score some morning sex, but Elliot isn’t having it. She tells him that she moved her bed into his apartment, and J.D. realizes that she’s been “sneak-moving” into his new place. Eventually, J.D. gets his morning sex. Bitter Roast
J.D. moves out to be closer to Sam and also decides to leave Sacred Heart. Ted and Guch move in together and Elliot takes the fall for Denise’s blunder. RelocationJ.D.’s plans to relocate are set in motion and in a short period of time he has moved into and furnished an apartment, 37 minutes away from Sacred Heart. Turk is proudly displaying his new Chief of Surgery badge when Denise and Derek emerge from the resting room. Turk and Derek walk off while Carla and Elliot congratulate Denise for the fish she caught. Elliot confesses that she’s fantasized about J.D. attacking her and Derek and then having both men pleasure her. Her fantasy ends with her g etting hold of J.D.’s gun and going on a killing spree. This helps her finish. Denise is pretty certain that she’s getting distracted with him, and that her involvement is interfering with her abilities as a doctor. When Carla asks her if Derek is a nice guy, Denise says she thought his name was “Eric”. A Dish Best Served Cold
Walt’s cancer is getting worse. He realizes that he’s gonna have to cook like crazy to make sure his family is provided for. After the cost of laundering his money, orchestrated by good old Saul, he’s only got 9 grand. So he and Jesse lie to their respective women and head out to the desert with plenty of Funyons and drinking water for a weekend long meth cook off. After a nice little drug making montage they come out with about 42 pounds and they stand to make over half a million bucks each. They’ve still got a little methylamine left so they decide to take a break and head into town for a grand slam at Denny’s. But it turns out old Jesse left the keys in the ignition and the battery died. So they try to jump the Methmobile with a generator. But the generator catches fire. And then Jesse dumps their cooler of drinking water on the flames. The fire’s out but they are fucked. They call Skinny Pete who agrees to come pick them up. After waiting for hours they decide to call Skinny again and it turns out he got lost, then Walt’s phone dies. Oh crap.
This week’s episode of Dollhouse can best be described as a twisted version of Sleeping Beauty, where Echo’s savior could either be an altruistic ex-FBI agent, or a violent, vengeful ex-lover. Story TimeA man wearing tattered clothing approaches a dumpster and begins sifting through its contents. Pulling aside a few bits of trash reveals a human arm, poking through the rubbish. The man moves forward to inspect what must be a disposed carcass, but when he is within range the hand lashes out and closes around the poor guy’s throat.
[Editor's Note: Per writer "Dave M's" request, we're making this one quick, so that we can get to the real meat of this post, his impassioned letter to actor B.J. Novak. Also, ScreenJunkies in no way endorses or agrees with Dave M's point of view.]Okay, Office Lovers. We learned from this week's episode that Michael, Pam and Ryan have rejoined the Scranton branch of Dunder-Mifflin and it's about time. Splitting the glibness between 2 offices seemed a bit of a challenge for NBC's Office writing staff as the show ventured into more awkward situational humor than actual laughs during the last several Idris Elba-filled episodes…
Detectives Clarke, Adams, Bryant, and Moretta take the spotlight in this week’s episode of Southland to investigate the murder of a young woman in South Central Los Angeles. Sally in the AlleyThe body of a young woman has been discarded on the side of the road. A group of kids are huddled around throwing balls at it. A few of them pull out their cell phones to take pictures and record a video. Some time later a call is made to report the body, and shortly thereafter the detectives show up. Shockingly, this scenario occurs with such frequency that it has its’ own slang reference. A slain, discarded female body is known in Cop jargon as 9 Sally in the alley.”
The episode opens with Leslie and Tom driving out to a hiking trail where, as Tom informs the camera, teenagers are thought to be digging out bags of dog poop out of the garbage and throwing them at each other, as a game. Knope is skeptical, but she and Tom quickly find out it is a harsh reality, as Leslie is pummeled by multiple bags, defending herself with a trash can lid, while Tom takes refuge in the car. Leslie quickly changes her attitude regarding the fighting as she begins to defend herself, hurling back the bags with vigor. Welcome to Pawnee, everybody!
Bauer, fresh from a seizure, is getting pumped with drugs to get him back to normal. He barely manages to tell Agent Walker to get an APV out on Tony Almeida, and she puts one out. Cut to Almeida, who walks up to an FBI vehicle, shoots two guys in it, and steals the whip.Bauer returns to a bit of normalcy. "Tony was working with Galvez all along."–"Are you saying that Tony killed Larry?"–"…Yes." Bauer then goes into a self agonizing rant about how it was his fault all this happened. Almeida pulls up to an undisclosed motel. Knocks, and Galvez lets him in. Galvez hands over the canister for money. But as Almeida looks into the backpack with virus box, Galvez pulls a gun. "Who's the buyer?"–"You don't want to do this." Then Almeida chucks the bag at him. A fight ensues. Alemida manages a pretty awesome kick to Galvez's teeth. And then starts suffocating him with the shower curtain, yelling "Where's the canister!"
Dewitt’s personal friend, Margaret Brashford, enlists the Dollhouse services as a post-mortem client seeking to uncover the secrets behind her own murder. Life After DeathMargaret Brashford rears up on her favorite horse to tell her husband to be good. Jack is sitting with his buddies, mulling over whether or not they should play tennis or drink long island iced-teas. Jack’s wife is a millionaire and has better than 30 years on him. A lot of assumptions can be made about their marriage, based on their age difference and her affluence. But Jack smiles lovingly as his wife rides off and continues to joke with his buddies. The smiles fade from their faces when Margaret’s horse returns without a rider. Topher activates Echo. When she sits up Adelle is standing there.“What’s wrong?” Echo asks.“Margaret, I am sorry to be the one to tell you: you’re dead,” Adelle replies. Apparently, Echo has been activated with Margaret’s persona.
The episode starts with that dorky guy from Hustle and Flow trying to buy some ice from Badger (who by the way is one of my favorite characters). It appears Heisenberg has cornered the market and jacked up the price. After the dorky guy assures Badger that he’s not a cop, he buys some glass…then arrests Badger. Hook up side note: Jesse got a little skin from his building manager Jane. In other news, Hank’s having a minor meltdown because Tortuga got his head blown up on that tortoise. So Walt goes over there to try to talk some sense into him. Walt tells him that “fear us the enemy” and that he should kick those responsible for the explosion right in the teeth. Once again, Jesse and Walt are short on payments from their underlings. Guess who’s short, good old Badger. They find out that Badger got busted. Badger is in an interrogation room getting hounded by that dorky guy (I refuse to imdb his name). And in busts Bob Odenkirk of Mr.
Domestic disputes, botched tracheotomies, stolen vehicles, and Tom Sizemore make for another interesting episode in this week’s installment of Southland TherapySherman begins his day by sharing a few words with his shrink. She’s moved from her private practice and it’s only her second day with the department. They talk about private school, and Sherman mentions that he used to attend private school until his father walked out on his mom. Then he went to public school. He reveals his family history for those of you who missed it last week. Sherman’s father was a defense attorney who had some seedy clients. At age ten his father split, but one of his clients visited Sherman’s home and beat up his mother while the boy watched.
The show opens with Liz Lemon and Jack and at a jewelry store where Jack informs Liz that he is buying Elisa an engagement ring. Liz is surprised but Jack informs her that Elisa is 'The One'. Pulling a classic Lemon, Liz then drops the ring down a heating vent. It then cuts to the TGS crew standing around with Kenneth explaining to them that they cannot bring in a box of donuts because of the risk of food allergies, including his own severe allergy to strawberries. It turns out that the box of donuts was actually just a prank to scare Lutz, who ends up falling back into a TV monitor and hurting himself.As Liz enters her office she finds Elisa who, unknown to Jack, has actually been back in town for three weeks. Elisa tells Liz that she has a terrible secret and cannot marry Jack. She asks Lemon to break the news to Jack, gives her a pretty unnecessary but awesome kiss goodbye, and is gone.
The episode opens, as the others have, with Leslie outdoors with some children. But this time, to digress from the other episodes, they are on a pre-teen nature hike (it used to be a teen nature hike, but they changed the name after a girl got pregnant, confesses Knope), where she unwittingly eats a poisonous plant for no apparent reason, and as her tongue begins to swell, the credits kick in. Welcome to Pawnee!
J.D. struggles with the realities of being a part time father when he learns that Kim is now dating Sean, Elliot’s ex-boyfriend. Meanwhile, Turk busts some balls to get promoted to the position of Chief of Surgery. Car SexElliot and J.D. are in the car on the way to Kim’s house to drop off Sam. Kim answers the door and adjusts J.D.’s collar. On the way home Elliot makes J.D. pull over for car sex so she can mark her territory. Elliot's possessive nature forces her to get intimate with J.D. if Kim so much as touches him. J.D. has found a way to make this work to his advantage. The next time he drops Sam off, he places a piece of fuzz in his own hair so that Kim will reach into it and pluck the fuzz, sending Elliot into a frenzy. Before leaving for car sex, Kim introduces her new boyfriend, Sean, who is Elliot’s ex and J.D.’s arch-nemesis. Making It Happen
Charles Miner delegates more responsbility to Dwight, causing his loyalties with Michael to be called into question, and Andy decides to help Jim out because he's obviously not doing well with Pam at all. (Clearly.) It's another fantastic Office this week, and it's right after the jump.
The episode opens similar to the last one, with Leslie (Amy Poehler) in a sunny park with children, being a moron. Maybe cold opens in the park will be a weekly feature. Either way, she’s dressed as a bunny (slightly creepy) and participating in an Easter egg hunt with the children of Pawnee. She remarks that it seems very difficult to find the eggs, at which point Tom (Aziz Ansari) confesses to the camera in an interview that he forgot to hide the eggs, while a montage runs of children becoming increasingly upset, crying, throwing down their baskets, etc. All in all, not a bad Easter for Pawnee.After the opening, Leslie goes to visit her mother, a higher-up in the local government, whom she has a slightly unhealthy amount of respect for (she compares her to Mother Teresa), and sets up a dubiously addressed subplot of vying for her mother’s approval and affection, but to no avail (probably due in no small part to her wide-eyed incompetence). She tries to brag about her subcommittee, and is met with apathy on the subject from her mother, before heading off to a small meeting with Mark and Ann (Rashida Jones).
About time we got a Miles episode. In this one, we dive into more of his background and exactly how he came to the island. He and Hurley also form an unexpected friendship back in 1977, as they discuss Miles and his father. Meanwhile Roger Linus isn't resting easy over the loss of his son, and Kate makes a blunder that could cost her and her friends their preciously kept secret. This week's Lost is right after the jump.
Last week’s friction comes to climax with our favorite doctors, while the guy who cleans up after them gets hitched. Yup, She’s Still PissedKelso gets himself set up at the bar by handing the bartender his travel bag and ordering a Bahama-mama. He’ll be at this bar for most of the episode. Things are still heated amongst lovers from last week’s episode, and not in a good way. Elliot is pissed at J.D. for not telling her how much he loves her, Jordan is pissed at Cox for pretending to have had work to do in order to prove to her she’ll miss him, and Turk is mad at Carla for refusing to take a break from her role as mommy. Sea Creatures