Donald Trump fired Gary Busey from “Celebrity Apprentice,” marking the end of an era for reality television. Well, that’s assuming you define “era” as a period of seven weeks where nothing of any real significance happened.
Note to self: Never engage in one-on-one combat with Gary Busey.
While “The Loaf’s” insane rant was a sight to behold, we shouldn’t let it overshadow some of the greatest Gary Busey quotes in the history of Gary Busey.
On last night’s “Celebrity Apprentice,” we learned that Gary Busey’s penis is named “Big Wednesday.” What else is there to say?
It’s week two of Gary Busey’s stint on “Celebrity Apprentice,” and America’s favorite brain-damaged thespian did not disappoint. Actually, he did. Although to be fair, it wasn’t all his fault.
I’m not sure what to make of “American Idol.” With only 100 contestants left, most of the people I hate have been sent home. And since I’m incapable of love, I feel empty and alone, much like the 50 losers from last night’s “solo night” show.
Last night was “group night” on “American Idol,” which is much less exciting than it sounds to an Internet-porn addict, like myself. Never the less, I watched all two hours of the program in order to describe it in detail to you, the reader. Congrats.
By it’s very nature, Hollywood Week isn’t as fun to watch. Almost, everyone who has made it to this point can sing, so there are no sad, pathetic people to mock and ridicule. As such, we have to settle for the next best thing: reveling in the failure of those who are more talented than us.
Last night was the final episode of the “American Idol” auditions, and what better way to end this sh#t show than with a fart. No, really. The show began with a teary-eyed girl complaining that the judges wouldn’t let her finish after she ripped ass.
After 30 seconds, I was pulling my hair out. That being said, I watched it all, and it was still better than sitting through will.i.am. And for that, I’m grateful. With that in mind, here are the highlights of Puppy Bowl VII.
Highlights included a seven-foot-tall armadillo, a fat guy who looked like a live-action version of Cleveland Brown’s son, and a girl in a Viking outfit (or maybe it was Hermes, but honestly, who cares).
Milwaukee native and former Idol contestant Danny Gokey was on hand to give false hope to delusional contestants. And if you’re looking for delusional people, a Rustbelt city like Milwaukee does not disappoint.
While the season premiere of “American Idol” was disappointing, the second episode (New Orleans) started out strong. By “strong,” I mean it began with a gay dude named Blake Patterson playing the piano and sobbing uncontrollably.
I hate “American Idol.” But, I made one innocent comment about the size of my editor’s wife’s ass, and now I’m stuck on recap duty.
Episode 6 (the series finale), in which our stinky crew raids the CDC liquor cabinet like it’s the last day on Earth, wastes hot water despite orders to the contrary, and more!
Survivors deal with the aftermath of the zombie attack on the camp and eventually hit the road. Oh, and readers might be a little thrown off by a new twist…
Episode 4, in which Rick and Co. search Atlanta for “Stumpy” Merle, get their guns, lose Glenn, make new friends, get Glenn back, and then return to a zombie swarm eating its way through the camp.
Welcome to the mobile edition of the weekly “Walking Dead” post. Why mobile? Because I’m sitting in an airport writing on my phone, watching on my iPad. Hence, no pics and probably plenty of typos (which my editor had better had fixed).
Episode 2, in which Rick Grimes makes some new friends, dismembers a corpse, and gets the F out of Dodge.
The luck of the English continues. Not only do they have relaxed attitudes, non-questionable beef, and a perfect balance of fluoride in their drinking water, but now David Cross's UK comedy pilot is going to series on their Channel 4. The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret stars Cross as a schlub mistaken for an alpha-male who is shipped overseas by an egomaniacal boss in order to sell a sketchy energy drink. Will Arnett will play the boss in the six episode run. Other castmembers are Russell Tovey and Sharon Horgan. We may be in luck stateside as well. Not only will our steaks not kill the neurons in our brains, but /Film reports that negotiations are underway to bring the show to the U.S.. We've posted the hilarious intro from the pilot before but please revisit the LOLs after the jump… (via /Film)
Tonight on TV, maple syrup, zombies, and fat people. Fans of IHOP will feel right at home.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE BREAKNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Tonight on TV, David Caruso takes off his sunglasses, then puts them back on again.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE BREAKNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Tonight, Jessica Simpson's cleavage makes Dane Cook palatable.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE BREAKNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
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Tonight on TV, dwarves make chocolate, Tom Hanks abducts kids, and Spring Breakers use their vaginas to save their favorite bar.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
This weekend Survivor: Samoa begins to wind down, Bruce Campbell saves the day, and an elephant gets cut in half.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Tonight on Jersey Shore, Snooki learns the importance of a clean clock.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Tonight on TV, Jesse "The Body" Ventura wrestles hypocrisy and Kim Kardashian does whatever it is she does.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
If the paranormal children on TV tonight don't melt our brains, Megan Fox's hottest moments will.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Tonight on TV, embarrassing parents and strippers. In other words, smoke and fire.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!