Recaps - Page 3

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‘American Idol’ Recrap: Group Night
Thursday, February 17 by

Last night was “group night” on “American Idol,” which is much less exciting than it sounds to an Internet-porn addict, like myself. Never the less, I watched all two hours of the program in order to describe it in detail to you, the reader. Congrats.

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‘American Idol’ Recap: Hollywood ‘Weak’ Part 1
Friday, February 11 by

By it’s very nature, Hollywood Week isn’t as fun to watch. Almost, everyone who has made it to this point can sing, so there are no sad, pathetic people to mock and ridicule. As such, we have to settle for the next best thing: reveling in the failure of those who are more talented than us.

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‘American Idol’ Recap: San Francisco
Thursday, February 10 by

Last night was the final episode of the “American Idol” auditions, and what better way to end this sh#t show than with a fart. No, really. The show began with a teary-eyed girl complaining that the judges wouldn’t let her finish after she ripped ass.

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I Watched The Puppy Bowl So You Didn’t Have To
Monday, February 7 by

After 30 seconds, I was pulling my hair out. That being said, I watched it all, and it was still better than sitting through will.i.am. And for that, I’m grateful. With that in mind, here are the highlights of Puppy Bowl VII.

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‘American Idol’ Recap: Austin
Thursday, February 3 by

Highlights included a seven-foot-tall armadillo, a fat guy who looked like a live-action version of Cleveland Brown’s son, and a girl in a Viking outfit (or maybe it was Hermes, but honestly, who cares).

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‘American Idol’ Recap: Milwaukee
Thursday, January 27 by

Milwaukee native and former Idol contestant Danny Gokey was on hand to give false hope to delusional contestants. And if you’re looking for delusional people, a Rustbelt city like Milwaukee does not disappoint.

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‘American Idol’ Recap: New ‘Snore’-leans
Thursday, January 20 by

While the season premiere of “American Idol” was disappointing, the second episode (New Orleans) started out strong. By “strong,” I mean it began with a gay dude named Blake Patterson playing the piano and sobbing uncontrollably.

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‘American Idol’ Recap: The New Jersey Auditions
Thursday, January 20 by

I hate “American Idol.” But, I made one innocent comment about the size of my editor’s wife’s ass, and now I’m stuck on recap duty.

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‘The Walking Dead’ Recap: TS-19 S1E6
Monday, December 6 by

Episode 6 (the series finale), in which our stinky crew raids the CDC liquor cabinet like it’s the last day on Earth, wastes hot water despite orders to the contrary, and more!

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‘The Walking Dead’ Recap: Wildfire S1E5
Monday, November 29 by

Survivors deal with the aftermath of the zombie attack on the camp and eventually hit the road. Oh, and readers might be a little thrown off by a new twist…

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‘The Walking Dead’ Recap: Vatos S1E4
Monday, November 22 by

Episode 4, in which Rick and Co. search Atlanta for “Stumpy” Merle, get their guns, lose Glenn, make new friends, get Glenn back, and then return to a zombie swarm eating its way through the camp.

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‘The Walking Dead’ Recap: Tell It to the Frogs S1E3
Monday, November 15 by

Welcome to the mobile edition of the weekly “Walking Dead” post. Why mobile? Because I’m sitting in an airport writing on my phone, watching on my iPad. Hence, no pics and probably plenty of typos (which my editor had better had fixed).

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‘The Walking Dead’ Recap: Guts S1E2
Monday, November 8 by

Episode 2, in which Rick Grimes makes some new friends, dismembers a corpse, and gets the F out of Dodge.

David Cross’s UK Pilot Picked Up for Series and May Come Stateside
Sunday, January 24 by

The luck of the English continues. Not only do they have relaxed attitudes, non-questionable beef, and a perfect balance of fluoride in their drinking water, but now David Cross's UK comedy pilot is going to series on their Channel 4. The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret stars Cross as a schlub mistaken for an alpha-male who is shipped overseas by an egomaniacal boss in order to sell a sketchy energy drink. Will Arnett will play the boss in the six episode run. Other castmembers are Russell Tovey and Sharon Horgan. We may be in luck stateside as well. Not only will our steaks not kill the neurons in our brains, but /Film reports that negotiations are underway to bring the show to the U.S.. We've posted the hilarious intro from the pilot before but please revisit the LOLs after the jump… (via /Film)

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
Tuesday, December 29 by

Tonight on TV, maple syrup, zombies, and fat people. Fans of IHOP will feel right at home.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE BREAKNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, December 28th, 2009
Monday, December 28 by

Tonight on TV, David Caruso takes off his sunglasses, then puts them back on again.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE BREAKNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009
Wednesday, December 23 by

Tonight, Jessica Simpson's cleavage makes Dane Cook palatable.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE BREAKNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009
Tuesday, December 22 by

 Tonight, join Carrie Underwood as she warms your yule log. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, December 21st, 2009
Monday, December 21 by

Tonight on TV, dwarves make chocolate, Tom Hanks abducts kids, and Spring Breakers use their vaginas to save their favorite bar.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, December 18th – Sunday, December 20th, 2009
Friday, December 18 by

This weekend Survivor: Samoa begins to wind down, Bruce Campbell saves the day, and an elephant gets cut in half.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, December 17th, 2009
Thursday, December 17 by

Tonight on Jersey Shore, Snooki learns the importance of a clean clock.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, December 17th, 2009
Wednesday, December 16 by

Tonight on TV, Jesse "The Body" Ventura wrestles hypocrisy and Kim Kardashian does whatever it is she does.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
Tuesday, December 15 by

If the paranormal children on TV tonight don't melt our brains, Megan Fox's hottest moments will.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, December 14th, 2009
Monday, December 14 by

Tonight on TV, embarrassing parents and strippers. In other words, smoke and fire.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, December 11th – Sunday, December 13th, 2009
Friday, December 11 by

 My eyes are up here, kid.This weekend, will Dexter Morgan get his man? Will Deb discover her brother's secret?? Will we get more "oh sh*t!" moments???CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, December 10th, 2009
Thursday, December 10 by

Tonight on TV, Zooey Deschanel throws her sister a bone.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, December 9th, 2009
Wednesday, December 9 by

Tonight, Top Chef ends its season and Padma Lakshmi regrettably covers up for the winter. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, December 8th, 2009
Tuesday, December 8 by

Tonight on TV, people who make love to their cars.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, December 7th, 2009
Monday, December 7 by

Andrew Jackson's checkered past, Santa Claus's shady beginnings, and a potential mother-meet on How I Met Your Mother. ALL TONIGHT.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC

What’s On This Weekend: Friday, December 4th – Sunday, December 6th
Friday, December 4 by

This weekend, Blake Lively hosts SNL as well as a party in my pants.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!