Men Farting, Women Queefing

Wednesday, April 1 by

A new fad engulf the town on South Park – queefing. All the men are disgusted and outraged and say that queefing is not the same at all as farting, which of course they do all the time. The new fad is prompted by a TV show called "The Queef Sisters" that gets Terrance and Phillip off the air.  T&P aren’t too pleased about this, and vow to do something about, but they end up finding the Queef Sisters much more charming than they had anticipated. It’s a funny if a bit sub-par South Park this week, and it’s after the jump.

Episode 4: Eat, Pray, Queef
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South Park Studios
 
The Queef Sisters
Terrence and Phillip aren’t too happy, either – they think it’s disgusting television, because babies come from there, but their boss explains to them that women are the new driving force of television, so queefs are more popular than their outdated farts.  Cartman’s on the phone to the network, complaining also about how the special made them all disgusted, in fact Clyde even threw up on his way home.  He demands to know what made them think they could show that kind of filth on television.  Some girls ask up, and ask what the big deal is.  The boys explain, and the girls wonder why the boys have the double standard of finding farting funny and queefing disgusting.  “You know that little kids could have been watching that?” Carman’s shouting into the phone.  The girls leave, and start talking about the queefs.  They get a girl who can queef anytime she wants, and she walks right up to Butters and does it in his face.  While the boys stare, horrified, Butters careens out of the school, screaming in terror all the way, running all the way back to his house, where he bursts through the door, still running, dashing all the way up to his room.

Incident
At the Marsh household, Randy is on the phone with Mr. Stotch, who’s explaining to him about what happened to Butters, while Randy mutters nervously back, “Oh yeah. Okay, well thank you for telling me, Mr. Stotch, I’ll spread the word, you take care now.”  He tells Sheila they need to cancel their plans because an emergency parent teacher conference has been called, because one of Stan’s friends was queefed on.   He continues up the stairs while Sheila calls after him, “So?”  Randy goes to Stan’s room and talks to his son about it.  “Butters was just sitting there, Dad. He didn’t even know it was coming,” Stan laments.  Randy assures him that they’re getting all the parents together to deal with this, so that nothing like this will ever happen again.

What’s the big deal?
At the conference, Mr. Mackey explains to all the parents gathered that a young girl queefed in another young boy’s face.  All the men in the audience erupt in outrage, while the woman wonder what the big deal was.  Principal Victoria then steps up to the mike to give her two cents – she doesn’t know what the big deal is either – she has boys called into her office several times a week for farting on students.  “What does that have to do with anything?” Randy replies after a dead silence.  All the woman erupt this time, muttering angrily.

Celebrity Queefing
The Queef Sisters are now a hit across America, and as a result, get to go on Live with Regis and Kelly.  They tell Regis they think queefing is a perfectly normal bodily function; why not have fun with it?  Regis calls queefs juvenile, but the sisters insist that if men can have fun with their farts, women should be able to have fun with their queefs, and they’ve written all about it in their new feminist novel, “Eat, Pray, Queef.” Kelly chimes in that she agrees with them, and says that women all over America stand behind them.  She then sits right back in her chair, lifts up her legs, and queefs a loud one before everyone, while the audience cheers and Regis walks off, disgusted.  Other celebrities get in on the action too, including Martha Stewart, who instructs how to insert little paper stars and glitter in your vag so you can queef out a brilliance of color.

Fired
Terrence and Phillip are feeling this blow worse than anybody, as the TV exec decides to fire them to make room for more the Queef Sister franchise.  “You can’t let Canada channel be soiled by that perverse garbage!” shouts Phillip.  The network executive agrees that it is garbage, but because it’s money, they need it, so they’re fired.

A serious matter
At the Marsh dinner table, a queef sounds from the womens’ end of the table, and Sheila and Shelly snigger while Randy and Stan stare at them in hatred.  “At the dinner table?”  Randy practically screams.  “Pardon me,” Sheila chuckles. “Mom, gross,” Stan says.  “How old are you, Sharon?” Randy demands. “It’s kind of funny how much it bothers you,” Sheila says, sniggering. They go back to eating dinner, but Sheila and Shelly can’t stop queefing, so another one soon sounds, pissing off Stan and Randy even further.  They leave the table, and Sheila stands up too, pointing out that Randy has farted and held her head under the covers plenty of times before.  Randy protests that it’s not the same thing at all, and Sheila begs him to explain why. She gives an example of a baby who farted in the womb of her friend Abby, and the expelled gas also rushed through her vagina, causing a queef.  Randy and Stan are with her right up until the queef, chucking along, but when she’s finished, the turn around, outraged and disgusted, and march out the door.  “It stopped being funny the second the air came out her vagina, Sharon!”

Love is in the air
Katie and Katherine Queef are at their house queefing and eating cookies, until they’re interrupted by a ring on the doorbell from none other than Terrance and Phillip.  They giggle over the celebrities’ appearance, and invite them in.  Soon T&P reveal their plan – not to make a social call, but to kill them.  Terrance pulls out a gun and points it at the two sisters, who decide that if they should die, they’re glad it was at the hands of their idols.  T&P ar taken aback and are unsure of what to do; they’re even attracted to both of them.  They end up not killing them and take them instead on a tour of Canada’s three wineries, farting and queefing and alternately making each other laugh and piss each other off.  One night in bed, one of the women queefs and pisses off Phillip, who hits her then dodges several pots of flowers thrown at him.  The lights come on, and Terrance, from the bed next to theirs, requests that they keep it down, because he and Katherine are having sex.  Phillip tells him how Cathie queefed in bed, and Terrence’s response is, “Gross!”  Catherine wonders what the big deal is; she’s been queefing this whole time! Terrence slaps her, and she punches him.  The sisters shoo them out, screaming that they never want to see them again.  After a brief smoke and talk on the balcony, the comedy duo decide that even though they don’t love queefs, they do love their women.  The sisters quickly forgive them, and then they’re back in their beds, having graphic Canadian cartoon sex.  As an epilogue to the episode we’re treated to a marriage scene between the four where the priest angrily pronounces them, “Farts and queefs” before storming off the altar because they’re farting and queefing so much.

Taking action
Butters is visited in bed, drowsy and very out of it, by several of his classmates from his school.  They inform him that queefing is more and more popular and girls are finding it more and more funny, but it’s okay, because the men are taking action.  They need his picture, to, as Cartman puts it, be the face of “Queef Abuse” so that they can open people’s eyes. In Washington, Mr. Stotch lectures before a committee about the dangers of queefing, and Stan and Cartman read from testimonials about Butters’ experience and the dangers of increasingly graphic queefing on television.   Randy offers to explain why farts are funny and queefs are not, and says that for ages, men have named their farts.  He demonstrates several, to the delight of the kids watching behind him, until a woman interrupts him and points out that women name their queefs too, giving her own demonstration.  “That’s not the same!”  Randy shouts. “We’ve got the Chinese Firecracker!” He demonstrates this, and then the woman says, “That’s nothing, we’ve got the Road Warrior!” Then she sticks her microphone to her crotch and queefs – and out comes a gravelly demonic-sounding voice.  All the men are horrified.

Free to queef
One morning bright and early, Randy finds on his doorstep a newspaper with the headline, “Queefing Banned! Road Warrior Queef Seals It!” He happily shares the news with Stan, and the two rejoice until Shelly and Sheila walk in and ask what’s going on.  Randy shoves the article in her face by way of explanation, and Sheila reads a few lines before looking up, small tears coming to her eyes.  “Congratulations, guys, I guess you did it…”  “Aw, come on, just cause you can’t queef anymore,” Randy offers pathetically.  “You think women really care that much about queefing?  This is about women having a little bit of fun for once at your expense….but no, you just couldn’t let us have that one little thing!”  She walks out, followed by a silent Shelly.  Randy and Stan go and sit on the couch, not sure what to say.  “Stan, let’s call the guys together.  I think we can make this right,” Randy says.  And how? Why, by a “We are the World” music video declaring that, among other things, “You’re a woman now, and you are free to queef.” “Queef Free,” proclaims the song.

Review
Though South Park has given us some of their best episodes ever when they’ve diverted from commenting on something not in pop culture or society at large, this week they seemed to have missed the mark – the entire thing is one big long queef joke with barely any room on the side for other jokes at all.  Even one-note episodes like the Coon found dozens of ways within the story to lampoon superheroes, but here we’re just asked to laugh over and over again at the same joke – men finding queefs awkward, and yes, it’s kind of funny, but not enough to run a  whole episode on.  And though it’s good seeing Terrance and Phillip, and I’d say they’ve found the perfect soul mates in the Queef Sisters, their part of the story didn’t feel very fleshed out.  The rest of the episode suffers because it also feels like South Park is a it on autopilot. You have some kind of new social phenomenon that pisses off a sector of society who then try to pass legislation to get it outlawed, with token celebrity appearances along the way engaging in said social phenomenon. Martha Stewart showing us how to make your queefs bright and colorful was hilarious, though, and prove that even on episodes where they’re off, Parker and Stone know how to give a few belly laughs along the way. The finale of "Queef Free" was funny in the classic South Park way, but it feels a little behind the ball, as "I’m Fucking Mat Damon" and "I’m Fucking Ben Affleck" last year were signifcantly funnier and even much more closer. And on top of it all, after the whole episodes we’re simply treated to a speech about women’s rights?  This seems like a bit overly familiar territory for the show. We’re getting closer and closer to mid-season, and though this episode has dropped significantly in quality compared to the other 3, there’s always at least one notably bad apple. Next week things should be looking up.

-Thomas Anderson
aka MovieBuzzReviewDude.  Check out his movie/media/pop culture blog here.

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