Episode 2.9 opens on Don in a hotel room. He’s not looking so hot. Marilyn Monroe, however, is way worse. She’s dead and the ladies of Sterling Cooper are taking it to heart. Betty Draper listens to the news of Monroe’s OD over a standing breakfast of red wine and broken nuptial sadness. 

Don’s secretary—the hot one that all the gents want to…um…proofread for flaws—mentions to Don that his daughter calle the office asking when he would return from his “business trip.” Don makes it clear that they are not buds with new secretaries and that mums the word while he’s sitting out his crumbling marriage at the Roosevelt Hotel.

Back at the office prepping for a meeting, Freddy pours Salvatore a drink. It’s a quadruple, and a none-to-subtle hint that maybe the server has been sampling the product.  Like sampling the shit out of the product. This turns out to be the case when he totally pisses his pants smack in the middle of the pre pitch warm up.  Salvatore finds it hilarious, but Pete and Peggy are rather disgusted. Freddy sits down at his desk to “think” but instead “passes the fuck out.” For a second, they wonder if he’s dead.  When he wakes up, he will want to be.

Betty seems to be doing her best impersonation of pre-morbid marilyn, lying face down on the couch, padded by pillows and warmed by a nice thick blanket of depression. She’s totally listless when her horse-riding friend visits, unashamed to be in high heels and a nightgown in the middle of the day.  There’s something more attractive about Betty in this state. She’s less the doting bride and more a real person.

Freddy wakes up from his ‘slumber’ to find his urine soaked trousers still attached to his body. He tries to make it out of the building like a 4th grade ninja with a boner, hat and satchel blocking his crotch while sloshing tersely across the main floor.  Nobody is fooled.

Roger walks into his office only to find Mrs. Holloway stretched out on his couch. Like the rest of the chicken coup she’s not dealing well with Marilyn’s death.  They have a formal exchange.
Don is back at the house, visiting the kids, trying to explain the reason for his absences.  He has “a talk” with Betty, who’s not ready to let Don back into the house.

It’s a new day and probably a wicked hangover for Freddy as he confronts Peggy about the uncomfortable topic of him tinkling on the fixtures.  She puts on her happy face and assures him that everything has been handled with the account.  Don is called into a meeting where we find that Campbell has blown the whistle on the pisser to Duck and Roger. It’s a bitch move, and Don is the first to defend Freddy. Unfortunately, it’s ‘conduct unbefitting.’

After an attempted breaking and entering of Don’s desk drawer, Betty decides to head to the stables. She finds Mr. Case, the amorous chap whose flirtations she’s been defending against.  She sets up a lunch date with him and her friend, and there is a slight glimmer that she just might be getting in the mindset of evening the score with Don. She ends up being a no show in the end.

After an office bloo drive, the boys are joking around, tossing about the term “Freddy Rumson” in regards to the wooziness they’re experienced from donating a pint.  Used in a sentence it would be like, “Yo son, after that third keg stand I totally fucking Freddy Rumsoned myself in front of that chick with the front butt.”  Once again, Don defends Freddy, dressing down the jokesters in a truly stern fashion. But later at dinner, Roger and Don seem to have no problem making light of the incontinence to his face, suggesting to Freddy that “there is a line…and he wet it.” The sentence is a six-month leave of absence, including a stint at the dry-out clinic. In order to really drive home the importance of sobriety among colleagues, they get fucking hammered and do some gambling at an underground club. While Freddy is burning up the tables, Roger takes a moment to let Don know he’s privy to the his marital woes. While he imparts big brotherly advice about the unnatural necessity of marriage, Don notices Jimmy Barrett across the room. He walks over, nods, and gives him a tight right hook to the jaw. Outside the club there’s a sentimental goodbye with Freddy, where the question is asked “If I don’t go into that office everyday…who am I?” Roger and Don keep knocking them back.

The next day Don takes a meeting with Peggy, telling her that she will be taking over Freddy’s business. Peggy confronts Pete about tattling like a little bitch. But in the end she realizes that maybe the power move did end up with a point in her column. The next day in a meeting, Duck asks Peggy for her opinion. Like they say: One man’s piss is another woman’s promotion.

At the end, Rogers wife storms into Dons office and we find out Roger is leaving her for Don’s secretary.

The Stain Gets Larger

Man, this show just keeps getting better this season. Seriously, you’re going to Freddy Rumson yourself.