Season 4, Episode 8 "Paddy’s Pub: The Worst Bar in Philadelphia” Kidnappings, Two man dick handling, and a diabetic cat. These are what you’re in for in this episode.
By: Nick Dow
The gang gets a new HDTV setup to class up the bar, but their enthusiasm is quickly ruined when they discover a bad review in the paper. They pay the writer a visit to try and reverse the review and after failing to persuade the writer to give them another shot, Charlie kidnaps him.
When the gang becomes aware of what Charlie has done, they try to cover up the kidnapping in typical Paddy’s Pub style. Charlie and Mac try to calm the writer while Dennis and Dee attempt to cover up the kidnapping. While Mac and Charlie are working their “magic”, the writer needs to use the bathroom. This leads to a great scene that includes Charlie eating part of a urinal cake to prove a point and a two man dick handling (thankfully the audience is spared the visual). Meanwhile in the attempt to make it seem like the writer went away on vacation, Dennis and Dee get carried away and kidnap his neighbor.
Now with a two person hostage situation the gang uses their flawless logic to devise an exit strategy. Charlie composes a brilliant plan to give them amnesia with a solid head bashing. Mac decides bribery is the trick and the neighbor ends up going home with Dennis’s ultra-thin TV. In order to get out of the bar as quickly as possible, the writer signs a napkin agreeing to not press charges. At this point Charlie goes wildcard and smashes a bottle on his head anyway.
After returning him to his home the gang engages in an a cappella version of a Boys II Men song in celebration, only to find an even worse review in the paper. Even though they have, once again, narrowly escaped felony charges, the episode ends with the gang (including a hammer) going for another talk with the writer.
What this episode was really missing was Frank (Danny DeVito) who could have brought the kidnappings to a whole new level. Otherwise a solid episode but it could have done more with the given subject matter.