Recap: Season 5, Episode 1. Wilson is back, but he has a resignation letter in hand. That’s bad news for House and the patient that he’s too sad to treat because of it.
The episode starts with the assistant to a high-powered woman executive freaking out in the middle of a meeting because she thinks that she’s covered with bugs. I’ll have to remember that one for next time I’m in a meeting. I can’t keep faking heart attacks to get out of those things. She gets to the hospital, and like every other patient that has ever been on this show, they don’t know what’s wrong with her.
Around the same time she arrives, Dr. Wilson gets back, only to tell his buddy House that he’s leaving for good. House gives him the standard, "You’re an idiot" treatment, which, surprisingly, doesn’t convince him to stay.
None of the treatments or diagnoses work for the patient and House is too pre-occupied with convincing his buddy to actually try and figure it out. They think it might be a vitamin B-12 deficiency and even cancer. Thirteen keeps pestering her about being an assistant for her entire life, as if she didn’t have enough bullshit to deal with thanks to the terminal illness she may have.
Eventually, the poor patient goes into cardiac arrest during surgery and House totally blows off the call because of his Wilson-induced sadness. They don’t punish him in any way, except to make him sit down with Wilson, which doesn’t accomplish anything. Finally, after House’s minions have already started treating her with chemo, House waltzes in and diagnoses the patient with a strain of leprosy, which is easily fixed.
His relationship with Wilson, however, doesn’t clear up so nicely. He ultimately tells house that it’s his fault he’s leaving. It’s brutal, but he does kind of deserve it.
The more I watch shows like this, the less comfortable I feel going to a hospital. I know that normal, non-TV doctors probably don’t have nearly as much drama going on, but it stil makes me paranoid that I’ll show up with my leg detached on the same day the doctor’s girlfriend breaks up with him and I’ll end up walkin like a pirate because of it. House is getting pretty out of hand now. There’s no way they can let him keep completely ignoring his patients like this. It seems like it’s getting to be time where he’s either going to have to make some kind of change or face some consequences. If not, the show is just going to stop making sense. But, until then, we’ll keep watching and then convincing ourselves that we have the exact same disease that the people on the show have. I did see a bug earlier. I wonder if I have leprosy. I better go get that checked out.