Making himself at home, Wilfred goes immediately to the bong rips. I couldn’t stop thinking what it would look like to anyone else who might be present. Dogs can’t spark lighters. They don’t have opposable thumbs! It’s what separates us humans from beasts. The fact that we can light bongs without any assistance.
Wilfred becomes anxious that his owner will never return home, and starts digging holes (with a shovel) in Ryan’s backyard. Ignoring the opposable thumbs thing again, as I fear that question will plague me throughout the series, I found this bit especially clever. Dogs have no sense of time, so of course every time Wilfred’s owner leaves he’s worried she may never come back. His nightmare of her dying in a horrible car crash may be unfounded, but maybe dogs imagine that. What the hell do I know, I’m not Cesar Millan.
During Ryan’s journey of self-loathing that turns into self-discovery, Wilfred motorboats a hot waitress to prove a point. Ryan needs to act like a man, seize the day, and all that, but perhaps sexual assault isn’t the best way to carpe diem. Sure, it’s cute when a dog does it (when only we get the benefit of seeing that dog as a horny man), but if Ryan stuck his face in that chick‘s knockers he’d be seizing the next five years of his life in a state prison. As much as we’d like to go balls to wall sometimes like Wilfred, as humans there are greater consequences for our actions. Humping a leg is only permissible every once in a blue moon, like if you’re trashed and your new girlfriend is nice enough to pity you.