Gif Recap: ‘True Blood’ – If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin’? S4E3

Monday, July 11 by

At Lafayette’s place, Jesus is peeing in the bushes.  Um, what?  They discuss with Tara, the possibility of going to Eric and talking him out of murdering them all.  Jesus and Tara don’t think it’s a great idea.  When Jesus promises to keep Lafayette from going to Fangtasia, Tara doesn’t believe him.  She’s got that look again…uh oh.

Jason is writhing on that bed again (Did anyone place that 8 bit video game sound?  I think it was generic, but let me know if I’m wrong.) while Andy calls him from the cop car, saying he’s been gone for 48 hours.  He’s talking to Jason as though he’s an AA sponsor and starts to say the serenity prayer.  Doesn’t work.  Sam interrupts him and Andy freaks about…fire hazards, etc.  I tried that on my parents once when I’d had a beer.  Didn’t work then either.  Sam thinks Andy’s been drinking and he drives off after pulling a gun on Sam.

Sookie heads over to see Alcide (!) and though there is still a ton of chemistry between them, guess who he’s back with!  Yup.  Debbie is clean and all into the program and Jesus and it shoots Sookie’s plan to have Eric stay there all to hell.  Still, there is a spark between them and we know they’re going to meet again.

Over at Maxine’s, we learn that she’s teaching Sam’s brother to read and that she’s a QVC doll addict (and that it’s almost Halloween).  A man comes to the door offering to buy Maxine’s natural gas (no, not like that).  Now, Tommy isn’t exactly the nicest boy and it looks like he’s about to bilk her out of some cash.

Crazy-ass Crystal (and let me just state for the record that Lindsay Pulsipher is one of the nicest, most intelligent actors I’ve ever had the pleasure to do makeup for and interview) is back, telling Jason his purpose is to repopulate the inbred population of were-panthers.  She feeds him…Mexican viagra.  He’s going to be their new Ghost Daddy.  Oh good.  I love Jason, but I’m not sure his intelligence level is really going to help them out too much.

At Merlotte’s, Tara tries to get Sookie to convince Eric not to take down Lafayette.  Sookie doesn’t trust Tara and plays dumb.  Sam comes over and asks Tara for a drink.  They flirt pretty hardcore until Jesus comes over looking for Lafayette.  They take off looking for him, while Bill is out to dinner with Portia.  While she’s in the bathroom, Bill seems to think Eric’s disappearance is strange…didn’t he set this up?  Anyway, Portia suggests that they try to add sex to their business relationship.  He says he can never love her.  That his heart is too old for such things.  Yeah, right.

At Merlotte’s, Arlene’s baby gets the creepy swamp doll from Jessica while Sam tells Tommy off for trying to bilk Maxine out of money.

Bill and Portia seal the deal…

…while at Fangtasia, Jesus and Tara take Pam’s toy hostage and stop her from killing Lafayette.  She tells them that if they don’t deliver Marnie she will ‘personally eat, f*ck and kill everyone of them. Aww.  Pam is just scrumptious.

Marnie is callin the spirit who possessed her.  God damn this was brilliant casting!  She says she wants to be invaded and filled up.  Oh. My.  That is suggestive.  Well, the spirit shows up…

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  1. July 11, 2011 10:41 am


    My wife & I laughed @ Eric in gym shorts. Later on that night my wife yelled out “take me ghost Daddy”… she is an animal in the sack!

  2. July 11, 2011 10:41 am


    Nice work!

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