The Screen Junkies Gif Recap is back! Featuring the mindlessness of television without all the over-analysis of your average recap, it’s the next best thing to watching television. Today’s installment: “How I Met Your Mother” – The Perfect Cocktail.
The show begins with Marshall leaving his job at GNB in order to pursue a position at an environmental firm. However, his manager, Arthur (Bob Odenkirk), sabotages his chances by telling the prospective employer that Marshall hates the environment, clubs baby seals, and comes to work without pants.
Angered by the double cross, Marshall decides to get back at his former employer by lending his support to Zoey’s cause (preventing the demolition of the Arcadian Hotel by GNB). This angers Barney to no end. He helped Marshall land the job, and feels completely betrayed. Vowing revenge, Barney does something, most likely of a sexual nature, to Marshall’s megaphone.
As retaliation, Marshall spreads rumors that Barney is married to a pregnant woman and that he has crabs that have been diagnosed with herpes. As a result, the confrontation escalates to the point of a physical fight, which gets everyone banned from the bar. Desperate for a resolution, the girls decide to get the guys wasted with the hope that they will then be able to open up to each other emotionally. This requires the right type of alcohol, so the girls do some research to figure out the perfect cocktail. Martini’s are ruled out, since it brings out the bisexual in Lily. Red wine is ruled out, because it turns Barney into a sad, introspective drunk. Absinthe is also off the table, since it sends Robin into an alternate reality in which she thinks she is part of a baby’s dream.
Ted, who is getting ready to go on a trip with Zoey, suggests bourbon, since it gives him the uncanny ability to beat box. However, Lily informs him that bourbon only causes him to think he’s a good beat boxer, a revelation which shatters his ego.
Other drinks are ruled out for various reasons, including the fact that some cause Marshall to become violent (hence the clip below, where he plays chicken with a mirror). Eventually, the two men end up patching things up over beers. They are readmitted to the bar, and all is right with the world…or so it seems.
Meanwhile, Ted and Zoey are fighting over the Arcadian Hotel. Ted can’t understand why Zoey would jeopardize his firm’s project over such a run-down dump. In order to prove his point, he cancels their weekend getaway and books a room at the Arcadian. Despite the communal bathrooms and the lingering threat of hooker ghosts, Zoey maintains her love for the hotel, confessing that when she was younger, her poverty stricken family was forced to live there. After the revelation, Ted confesses his love to Zoey, but the moment is quickly broken up by the appearance of the cockamouse, the half-roach half-mouse creature that used to live at Ted’s apartment. It has now settled at the hotel, and Ted is touched to see it is raising a family. Zoey is less than impressed, and the two flee the hotel.
The next morning, Marshall and Barney wake up and begin fighting as if nothing has changed. Confused, the girls determine that the men ended up drinking so much that they blacked out and forgot about the reconciliation. Disappointed, Lily and Robin decide to drown their sorrows in Absinthe.
So, at the end of the episode, both Ted and Marshall are aligned against Barney over the issue of the hotel, and Zoey and Ted seem to be growing even closer in their relationship. With just a few more episodes left in the season, how will these issues resolve? Prediction, Zoey will chain herself to the hotel, and will be killed during its demolition, wrapping up all the lose ends in a satisfying matter.